Wayne's Little Online Book of PSB Lists (Part 3)

• 10 things the Pet Shop Boys did to commit career suicide in the U.S.
  
• The 10 PSB songs that they play on my local "80s oldies" radio station
  
• My 10 favorite PSB songs, period
  
• The only 2 PSB songs I don't like
  
• My 10 favorite PSB albums
  
• My 4 least favorite PSB albums
  
• My 5 favorite PSB album covers
  
• My 10 favorite PSB remixes
  
• My 10 favorite PSB b-sides
  
• My 5 favorite non-originals covered by PSB
  
• My 5 favorite PSB videos
  
• My 5 least favorite PSB videos
• 5 guest appearances by Neil and/or Chris in other artists' music videos
  
• The 10 biggest PSB hits on the U.S. Billboard "Hot 100" singles chart
  
• The 10 biggest PSB hits on the U.S. Billboard dance charts
• The status of PSB in Joel Whitburn's Hot Dance/Disco 1974-2003
  
• The 10 most successful PSB albums on the U.S. Billboard charts
  
• The Boys' U.S. and U.K. gold and platinum records
• The U.S. sales figures for PSB albums
  
• The 10 longest PSB song (or track) titles
  
• The 10 longest PSB album tracks (not counting bootlegs, "special editions," or Disco albums)
  
• The 10 (actually 12) longest commerically released "official" PSB remixes
  
• The 10 shortest PSB tracks
  
• 12 (and maybe 13) PSB songs with lyrics that don't contain the title
  
• 9 (or 10) songs on which Chris sings (or "speaks") lead
  
• Other songs in which Chris's voice can be heard
  
• 13 (or 14) studio tracks on which Neil plays the guitar
  
• A partial list of synths/samplers used by the Pet Shop Boys
  
• The key signatures of selected PSB songs
  
• "Documented" officially unreleased songs written by the Pet Shop Boys
• Titles that have been mistakenly identified as unreleased songs written by PSB
• 3 PSB "Easter eggs"
• The Pet Shop Boys' appearances on Top of the Pops
• Celebrities portrayed in the "New York City Boy" video
  
• 4 terms coined by the Pet Shop Boys that have been adopted by writers
• Artists with whom PSB have collaborated
  
• Notable guest appearances in PSB videos—plus 2 "possibilities" and 2 notable "nonappearances"
• A partial list of artists interviewed by Neil when he was with Smash Hits
• At least 29 PSB songs that have been used in films and "non-musical" TV shows
• 3 feature films that mention the Pet Shop Boys by name
• 6 perhaps surprising influences on the Pet Shop Boys
• 8 perhaps surprising influences by the Pet Shop Boys on others
  
• Real people mentioned by name or title in PSB lyrics
• Real places mentioned by name in PSB songs
• Neil's 12 most memorable lyrical personae
  
• 7 pop songs mentioned by title in the lyrics of PSB songs
  
• 7 PSB songs based on classical compositions (and a few others with "classical connections")
• 31 PSB "cover songs" and who first recorded them
• 8 songs written by PSB that were inspired by AIDS (plus 3 more debatable interpretations)
  
• 31 PSB songs with literary references
• PSB lyrics that include non-English words or phrases
• The Pet Shop Boys' greatest acts of deconstruction
• Official PSB ringtones
  
• 11 PSB tracks that contain samples of other artists' music
  
• 8 (and probably 9) tracks by other artists that sample the Pet Shop Boys
  
• My favorite PSB mashups
  
• 4 PSB songs with distinct "Beatles connections"
  
• 3 dance-music classics that the Boys have blended into "live" versions of their own songs
  
• 10 tracks that have been mistakenly attributed to the Pet Shop Boys on Napster or elsewhere on the Internet
  
• 18+ PSB songs with "Russian connections"
• 10 (or 11) PSB/Doctor Who connections
• Evidence that death haunts "the Fundamental era"
  
• 23 notorious rumors about the Pet Shop Boys
  
• 7 Pet Shop Boys titles and lyrics that are (or may be) sly innuendos
• 19 "performance parodies" of the Pet Shop Boys (and some borderline cases)
• 21 tracks that mention "Pet Shop Boys"
• Robert Christgau's grades for PSB albums
  
• The 14 strangest things the Boys have done
• Major awards won by the Pet Shop Boys
• PSB Grammy nominations
• My all-time favorite one-line descriptions of the Pet Shop Boys
  
• My 5 favorite anagrams of "Pet Shop Boys"
• Neil's Desert Island Discs choices
• The Pet Shop Boys' "Ten Commandments of Pop"
  

I've moved my tables of UK/US chart performance and PSB songs "live" to my new "Extras" section.

Official PSB ringtones

While there's no shortage of "unofficial" PSB cellphone ringtones circulating in cyberspace, the Pet Shop Boys themselves have turned quite a few of their songs into cellphone ringtones and have made them available online. And a few of these ringtones are "exclusives"—that is, they're not even based on previously released material. Instead they exist solely (as far as we know) as ringtones created by Chris and Neil. The following list starts with these "exclusives," complete with brief descriptions, and then follows with an alphabetized list of previously released songs that have been "ringtonized." (And many thanks to David Elliott for informing me of these ringtones and providing this list!)

Ringtones that exist exclusively as ringtones:

• Answer the Phone

  An upbeat bit of technopop offered in both a standard and an extended version. It features a vocodorized vocal (Chris, perhaps?) singing the title phrase.

• Water

  Nine seconds of ambient, light, yet somewhat spooky sound.

• Where Are You?

  Lovely and atmospheric. Neil sings, "Hello—where are you? Pick up the phone, please."

Ringtones based on previously released material:

• Always on My Mind
• Before
• Being Boring
• Can You Forgive Her?
• DJ Culture
• Domino Dancing
• Flamboyant
• Go West
• Heart
• Home and Dry
• I Don't Know What You Want But I Can't Give It Any More
• I Get Along
• I Wouldn't Normally Do This Kind of Thing
• I'm with Stupid
• It's a Sin
• It's Alright
• Jealousy
• Left to My Own Devices
• Liberation
• Love Comes Quickly
• Minimal
• Miracles
• New York City Boy
• No time for tears
• Numb
• Opportunities (Let's Make Lots of Money)
• Paninaro '95
• Psychological
• A Red Letter Day
• Rent
• Se A Vida E (That's the Way Life Is)
• Single-Bilingual
• So Hard
• The Sodom and Gomorrah Show
• Somewhere
• Suburbia
• To the Shore
• West End Girls (two versions)
• What Have I Done to Deserve This?
• Where the Streets Have No Name
• Yesterday, When I Was Mad
• You Only Tell Me You Love Me When You're Drunk

11 PSB tracks that contain samples of other artists' music

Even if you don't count the digital sampling technology used by various keyboard instruments, Pet Shop Boys recordings still contain a lot of samples. But most of those samples are voices or other "nonmusical" sounds that Chris and Neil use in a musical way. Only in a few cases have they included samples from other artists' recordings. The following tracks are distinguished in this way. (And please note that this list doesn't include songs like "Somebody Else's Business" which were "built around" samples that were subsequently removed, not appearing in the final version. Nor does it include cases where the Boys reference a song simply by performing a portion of it themselves within a recording, as with "Between Two Islands" and "Party Song.")

1. Birthday Boy

To underscore the Christmas-related theme of the song, it fades out with a sample taken from a recording of the Choir of Clare College, Cambridge, performing the Christmas hymn "In the Bleak Midwinter" (a setting by composer Harold Edwin Darke of a poem by the Victorian writer Christina Georgina Rossetti).

2. Happiness Is an Option

This track contains, in the words of the album's liner notes, "a recreated sample from the George Clinton Mixman Soundisc MIXSD-001."

3. I Didn't Get Where I Am Today

This bonus track on the "Flamboyant" single makes recurring use of an electric guitar riff sampled from the opening of "Father's Name Was Dad," a somewhat obscure 1967 number (though it's been described as a "beat classic") by the British band Fire.

4. It Always Comes as a Surprise

The introduction and conclusion of this song are built around a sample taken from the Stan Getz recording of "Corcovado (Quiet Nights of Quiet Stars)," featuring Astrud Gilberto.

5. Men and Maggots

This instrumental from the Tennant/Lowe film score for The Battleship Potemkin contains a sample borrowed from the pop standard "Charade," written in 1963 by Henry Mancini and Johnny Mercer, and as performed in the early 1990s by Henry Mancini and The Mancini Pops Orchestra with Chorus. Not being familiar with the Mancini recording myself, I have to go by one of my email correspondents, who tells me that the sampled segment (which comes from the start of "Charade") is the chime- or celeste-like tones that begin at about 0:21 into "Men and Maggots."

6. Miserablism

Neil has noted that this track, during its middle instrumental break, contains a brief sample from Shostakovich’s Twelfth Symphony. The specific recording of the symphony that was used, however, is uncertain (at least to me).

7. Positive Role Model

Both the Boys' own rendition of this song and the Closer to Heaven cast album version contain an instrumental break from Barry White's 1974-75 hit "You're the First, the Last, My Everything."

8. Psychological

This track contains a sample from a remarkably obscure source: a 1991 recording of the "Song of the Most Holy Theotokos" (Theotokos is a Greek term meaning "Mother of God," in reference to the Virgin Mary) as performed by (and apparently composed specifically for) soprano Tatiana Melentieva, excerpted from Svete Tikhiy ("O Gladsome Light") by the contemporary Russian composer Aleksandr Knaifel (born 1943).

9. The Sodom and Gomorrah Show (demo version)

The demo version (so far available officially only on U.K. iTunes) contains a sample of Eminem saying "Pet Shop Boys" lifted from his obscure "Canibitch" track, in which he imagines running our heroes down in a car.

10. We All Feel Better in the Dark

The repeated "Pump that beat" (?) phrase is probably a digitally modified borrowing from the 1986 track "Pump That Bass" by Original Concept. In addition, it almost certainly includes a brief snippet ("Get down!") taken from Loleatta Holloway's extensively sampled 1980 dance classic "Love Sensation."

11. Was It Worth It? (Dub)

A KLF discography asserts that the "Dub Mix" of "Was It Worth It?" contains samples from KLF's "Six Hours To Louisiana, Black Coffee Going Cold." Apparently if you turn the volume way up and listen closely during the last fifteen seconds, you will hear the samples. Further, as one of my site visitors has pointed out, this same mix sounds as though it contains a "heavy breathing and percussion" sample from Depeche Mode's "Personal Jesus." (The possible sample, repeated many times, runs in the track from about 1:40 to 2:06.) When a fan asked about this, however, in the Q&A section of the official PSB website, Neil denied knowledge of any Depeche Mode sample appearing in their songs. So there are two possibilities:

• It really isn't a DM sample—it only sounds an awful lot like one, or
• Neil was simply unaware of the fact that the remixers of the "Was It Worth It" dub—Philip Kelsey and Dave Seaman for Creative Thieves Conglomerate/DMC (hmmm—perhaps a rather telling corporate moniker there)—had slipped the samples into the mix.

At least for the time being, we'll have to leave it at that.

8 (and probably 9) tracks by other artists that sample the Pet Shop Boys

1. "She's the One" by Saint Etienne

This song from this U.K. band's 1991 debut album Foxbase Alpha samples some drums from the album/single mix of "Being Boring."

2. "Archway People" by Saint Etienne

These alt-popsters struck again with this bonus track on their 1993 CD single "You're in a Bad Way." And they sampled from "Being Boring" again, only this time from the Marshall Jefferson remix. They must really like that song—but, then again, who can blame them?

Honorable mention: If that weren't enough for Saint Etienne, they've also sampled brief bits of dialogue from the Boys' film It Couldn't Happen Here. The Gordon King "Variety Club" remix of their 1992 single "Avenue" samples two brief snippets of dialogue spoken by Gareth Hunt in the guest house breakfast room scene: "Good morning, everybody—what a lovely day for a bit of fun!" and (repeatedly) "Good morning, Vicar!" They're not really "PSB samples," but they're certainly PSB-related.

3. "Only in My Mind"" by soulDecision

A 2000 track that samples "We All Feel Better in the Dark." Since the Boys get a songwriting credit, this song gets its own entry on this website.

4. "Style" by Mis-teeq

Once again the Boys get composing credit, so this 2003 song, which samples "West End Girls," also has its own entry here.

5. "Lev Stort" by Paragon

A 2006 Swedish rap recording that's built upon the opening bars of "King's Cross."

6. "Oh Yeah" by X-Mode

Perhaps more a mashup than anything else, but this track nevertheless samples the chorus of "One Thing Leads to Another."

7. "Wipe the Needle (Remix)" by the Ragga Twins

A 1991 release that samples quite liberally from "Heart."

8. "Go Get Busy" by DJ Weirdo & DJ Slim

An incredibly bizarre 1995 track that bears the credit "Chipmunk vocals sampled from Pet Shop Boys - 'Love Comes Quickly'." (The sped-up sample begins almost exactly two minutes into the "Hardcore Edit.")

… and probably—

9. "Disco" by Rat Shop Boys

OK, I'm not 100% sure about this, but I am confident enough at least to list it here tentatively. The name of the act alone is a tip-off. This rousing but incredibly obscure 2004 techno-dance track from England sure sounds as though it samples snippets from the Pet Shop Boys' "In the Night." And even if that's not the case, I'm virtually positive that a few syllables of Neil's voice briefly make it into the mix, although I can't tell whether it's from the same song.

It took me a while to warm up to the relatively recent phenomenon known as "mashups," in which an imaginative DJ/mixer/musictechgeek blends two tracks together, often revealing surprising (and occasionally shocking) musical convergences in the process. But now I love them, at least when they're done really well. I think my favorite mashups to date are Blondie vs. the Doors' "Rapture on the Storm," Madonna vs. Daft Punk's "Da Funk Music," and Kylie Minogue vs. New Order's "Can't Get Blue Monday Out of My Head." But there are some really good PSB mashups out there as well. And why wouldn't there be? After all, the Boys themselves pioneered the genre (in a manner of speaking), creating something very closely akin to mashups with "Where the Streets Have No Name (I Can't Take My Eyes Off You)" and their remixes (actually re-recordings) of David Bowie's "Hallo Spaceboy."

Attempting a complete, comprehensive list would quickly become a very tedious pursuit, but I do want to recognize the ones that I really like when I happen upon them. So here are my own personal favorite PSB mashups, all of which are (at least at the time of this writing) accessible via YouTube and/or other online sites:

• Pet Shop Boys vs. Placebo - "Love Comes Running Up That Hill Quickly"

DJ Magnet's remarkable blend of "Love Comes Quickly" with Placebo's 2003 cover of the Kate Bush classic "Running Up That Hill," squeezing in bits of Kate herself in the process. Simply beautiful.

• Pet Shop Boys vs. Anne Clark - "God Willing (JCRZ Remix)"

José C. (JCRZ) has remixed and mashed "God Willing" with Anne Clark's 2002 "Hardest Heart" (aka "Caress the Hardest Heart") to create an absolutely gorgeous new track. Dare I say it?—the sum just might be greater than the parts. They sound as though they were made to go together.

• Pet Shop Boys vs. Patrick Swayze - "She's Minimal Like the Wind"

I'm not sure who created this, but it's nothing short of brilliant, mashing "Minimal" with one-hit wonder Swayze's cheesy but nevertheless lovely "She's Like the Wind" from 1987-88. I mean, how does one even think of such a thing?

• Pet Shop Boys vs. Madonna - "West End Jump"

  Virtually inevitable considering that Madonna's 2006 hit "Jump" was largely derived from the "West End Girls" chord progression and bass line to begin with. Again, I don't know who gets the credit for actually doing it.

• Pet Shop Boys vs. Smokey Robinson - "Tracks of My Mind"

  Combines the Boys' rendition of "Always on My Mind" with the timeless "The Tracks of My Tears" by Smokey Robinson and the Miracles—which, incidentally, has long been my favorite classic Motown group. Smokey is an incredible songwriter. At any rate, it's far from the most technically proficient mashup I've ever heard (Smokey's lead vocal is mixed too far in the foreground), but strikingly imaginative nonetheless.

I'm not alone in thinking Tennant-Lowe is the finest pop songwriting team since Lennon-McCartney, and occasionally in interviews the Boys have said things that indicate that they themselves feel a sort of "artistic kinship," so to speak, with the earlier pair. (Perhaps not incidentally, Neil has said that the first album he ever bought was the Beatles' "White Album.") So it's not surprising that "Beatles connections" should turn up now and then in Pet Shop Boys songs. Mind you, this brief list doesn't even touch upon songs that have been cited by critics as being stylistically "Beatlesque," such as "I Get Along." But these songs have more than just elements of style in common with the Beatles.

1. Home and Dry

Toward the end Chris twice speaks the words "We're going home," which the Boys have acknowledged to be a tip of the hat to the Beatles' song "Two of Us," the refrain of which ends with those same words.

2. I Wouldn't Normally Do This Kind of Thing

While the lyrics don't specifically relate to the Beatles in any way, this song is replete with "Beatles references." It was shortly after the release of Very that Neil told an interviewer (in so many words) that what he and Chris were doing was akin to what Lennon and McCartney might have done if they'd had access to nineties musical technology back in the sixties. As if to underscore that very point, the single version of "Normally" (as opposed to the much sparser album version) was embellished with instrumental flourishes highly reminiscent of "psychedelic era" Beatles: droning tambouras, piccolo trumpets, and backwards percussion, yet all done with a decidedly "nineties flavor." And the video similarly hybridized 1967 and 1993, featuring Chris and Neil wearing "moptop" wigs and cavorting with twin go-go dancers against a backdrop of computer-generated psychedelia. In short, lyrical references were hardly necessary.

3. Metamorphosis

The line "Somebody spoke and I went into a dream" is lifted directly from the Beatles classic "A Day in the Life."

4. Nothing Has Been Proved

The words "'Please Please Me''s number one" is a reference to the Beatles' first big hit song in the U.K., which coincided with the notorious Profumo Affair of 1963, which the song—as well as the movie for which it was composed, Scandal—is all about.

And although it's certainly not a "PSB song," we shouldn't ignore the Noël Coward tribute album, Twentieth-Century Blues, executive-produced by Neil Tennant and featuring Paul McCartney on the song "A Room with a View." Neil personally talked the ex-Beatle into participating in the charity project.

Finally, Chris and Neil have done three remixes of Yoko Ono's "Walking on Thin Ice"—a song that she and John Lennon had been working on shortly before Lennon's murder.

1. "I Will Survive," originally by Gloria Gaynor

Neil and Chris have made something of a tradition out of performing a medley of this timeless disco classic and their own "It's a Sin." They've done so in their "DiscoVery," "Somewhere," and "Nightlife" shows.

2. "Rhythm of the Night," originally by Corona

The Boys interpolated this 1995 dance club hit with "Left to My Own Devices" during the "DiscoVery" tour.

3. "Mr. Vain," originally by Culture Beat

This song was blended with "One in a Million," again during the "DiscoVery" shows.

1. "Bizarre Love Triangle"

Audiogalaxy.com erroneously attributes this 1986 New Order masterpiece to PSB. Hey, not every great song is by our two heroes!

2. "I Wanna Be a Cowboy"

This 1986 hit was by the British quintet Boys Don't Cry. Considering the name of the band, it's easy to see how the confusion might have arisen.

3. "Neverending Story"

Former Kajagoogoo lead singer Limahl (real name Chris Hamill) released this hit song in 1985—a full year before the Pet Shop Boys made it to the top with "West End Girls."

4. "One Night in Bangkok"

Murray Head recorded this 1985 smash from Benny and Bjorn's musical Chess. Its "Brit-rap" style may account for the PSB confusion.

5. "Pop Music"

British musician Robin Scott, under the name "M," released this international #1 all the way back in 1979. That was before Chris and Neil had met, much less recorded together.

6. "Send Me an Angel"

This one by the Australian band Real Life dates back to 1983. Some time ago one of my email correspondents had me going on this, leading me to believe that it had been covered by Neil and Chris—only it hadn't. As it turns out, it repeatedly turns up in faulty online lists of PSB tracks. Most recently it surfaced on YouTube: a Japanese anime-style video using an extended mix of this song as its soundtrack, again erroneously attributing it to the Pet Shop Boys. It just goes to demonstrate the irritating persistence of cyber-falsehood.

7. "Tainted Love"

At least one .mp3 distribution site has wrongly attributed Soft Cell's immortal 1981-82 rendition of this song to the Pet Shop Boys.

8. "December 1963 (Oh, What a Night)"

Someone on Kazaa mistakenly attributed this latter-day (1975-76) Four Seasons #1 smash to the Pet Shop Boys. True, it did experience a major chart revivial (in a remixed format) during the "PSB era," but it was still the Four Seasons.

9. "The Safety Dance "

This 1983 hit was by the Canadian band Men Without Hats. How anyone can confuse Ivan Dodoschuk's baritone vocals with Neil Tennant's tenor is beyond me.

10. "Sunglasses at Night"

A more understandable error than most. "Sunglasses at Night" was a hit by Corey Hart, who, like the Pet Shop Boys, was produced early on by Bobby "O" Orlando. He retained the rights to early recordings by both Hart and the Boys, hence the fact that this song pops up in remixes combined with certain Orlando-era PSB tracks, such as the mix titled "West End Sunglasses." It's easy to see why there's confusion.

Neil is a student of history, with a particular interest in Russian history and culture. So it shouldn't be surprising that Russian references pop up with some regularity in Pet Shop Boys songs.

1. West End Girls

The line "From Lake Geneva to the Finland Station" tracks the exiled Lenin's route of return to Russian on the eve of the Russian Revolution. Why it should appear in the stream of consciousness narrative of "West End Girls" is anyone's guess. Some alternative versions of the song also include the line "Who do you think you are—Joe Stalin?"

2. I'm Not Scared

The album Introspective was released in a special limited-edition set of three 12-inch vinyl discs, each side featuring one of the six album tracks. The label of the side devoted to "I'm Not Scared" boasted a photograph of Neil that, as noted in the book Pet Shop Boys Catalogue, was very consciously modeled on a particular image of the Russian composer Dmitri Shostakovich (1906-1975)—or, more accurately, an image of the actor Ben Kingsley portraying Shostakovich in the 1988 film Testimony. The odd facial expression might be described as one blending profound dejection and resignation, reflecting the composer's mood after suffering a public denunciation during the Stalinst era.

3. This Must Be the Place I Waited Years to Leave

Near the end of the song, somewhat buried in the mix, there's a brief sample from a speech made by Andrei Vyshinsky, the Soviet state prosecutor, during the infamous Stalinist "show trials" of 1936. Very roughly translated into English, taking Russian idioms into account, the text means "Our people demand that the public enemy be slain." Also, just after the guitar solo (at about 3:24), a choir shouts "Lenin!"—apparently lifted directly from a recording of Dmitri Shostakovich's Symphony No. 2. Although this song focuses primarily on remembrances by Neil of his Catholic school days, he has also stated that it's "about the end of communism as well"—hence the Russian references.

4. My October Symphony

This song is written from the perspective of a Russian composer who contemplates the implications of the collapse of communism, especially with regard to his work. The shout at the start of the track is the Russian word for "October," again (see the preceding entry for "This Must Be the Place I Waited Years to Leave") taken from Shostakovich's Second Symphony.

5. Miserablism

The instrumental break of this track contains a brief sample from Shostakovich's Twelfth Symphony.

6. Can You Forgive Her?

The Russian connection isn't in the song itself, but rather in the video, some brief snippets of which feature scenes of Chris and Neil, decked out in those orange jumpsuits and pointy hats, strolling incongruously across Moscow's Red Square. And it's not even digital video trickery. They've got nerve, those two.

7. I Wouldn't Normally Do This Kind of Thing

Neil sings of feeling like taking all his clothes off and "dancing to The Rite of Spring." The Rite of Spring is the score of a ballet, one of the greatest works by the Russian (and later, American) composer Igor Stravinsky.

8. Liberation

The melody was, in Neil's words, "triggered" by a portion of the ballet Romeo and Juliet by the great Ukrainian/Russian composer Sergei Prokofiev.

9. Go West

Although the primary context of this recording is a bittersweetly ironic take on gay consciousness in the wake of AIDS, the Boys established a whole other alternate meaning in the video, which equates "going West" with the fall of communism in Russia. The fact that the chord structure of the song (based on that of Pachelbel's "Canon in D") closely resembles that of the Soviet national anthem only fosters the Russian connection. Chris and Neil even went to Moscow to film brief portions of the video in Red Square—yes, while wearing those sci-fi jumpsuits and helmets! What did the Muscovites think?

10. Euroboy

There's a bit of uncertainty about this one. Neil has said that this track contains a sample of "Cossack" voices. But Chris has stated that the voices are actually African, although he concedes that they sound Russian. The Boys agree, however, that this track has a very "Eastern European" sound.

11. A Red Letter Day

In a likely pun on the word "red" in the title, the Boys enlisted a classically trained male Russian chorus to sing background vocals for this song.

12. Up Against It

The lines "So deep in quicklime, the bones of an old crime" refer to the discovery in 1989 of the remains of the Russian royal family murdered in 1918, during the Revolution.

13. Happiness Is an Option

This song is replete with "Russian references." It was built around a fragment of Vocalise, a piece of music by the Russian composer Sergei Rachmaninov. Neil also makes passing reference to what is allegedly a Russian aphorism about "wondering why we're born under a blue sky but die in a dark forest." (Then again, a Russian email correspondent—a teacher with a background in linguistics, so he's in a position to know—has disputed this, saying that he's never heard of any such aphorism.) If that weren't enough, the lyrics further allude to the poem (or at least the title) "This Is Neither Old Nor New" by the twentieth-century Russian poet Anna Akhmatova.

14. Silver Age

The lyrics refer in a rather imagistic fashion to the period in Russia from 1901 to 1914, a "Silver Age" filled with optimism and a flourishing of the arts. Yet an overwhelming air of foreboding ("It's very atmospheric," says Neil) hangs over the song. The First World War and the Russian Revolution, after all, are just around the corner.

15. London

A song that tells the story of a couple of deserters from the Russian Army who flee to London, where they wind up resorting to crime to survive.

16. Psychological

This track contains a sample from a recording of a 1991 composition by the modern Russian composer Aleksandr Knaifel (born 1943 in Uzbekistan), "Song of the Most Holy Theotokos for Tatjana Melentieva," excerpted from Svete Tikhiy ("O Gladsome Light").

17. Numb

According to the official PSB website, the directors of this song's video (Julian Gibbs and Chris Sayers) have described it as "an icy emotional landscape of borrowed dreams, sewn together with the power and style of Russian constructivist cinema." This might seem like a rather tenuous connection, but even a single viewing of the video confirms a very obvious Russian influence. In fact, on the Cubism DVD commentary track, Neil confirms that much of the video footage is taken from Soviet films of the silent era.

18. Twentieth Century

The Russian Revolution and the soviet state that emerged in its wake were among the inspirations for this song (though, to be sure, not the only ones). As Neil put it, "I was thinking of communism—that as a solution to the problems of the world, the problems weren't as bad as the solutions."

18+ The Battleship Potemkin (including 15 new songs and instrumentals)

Certainly we can't overlook the Pet Shop Boys' electronic/orchestral score for the 1925 silent film classic The Battleship Potemkin, directed by the Latvian-Russian screenwriter and director Sergei Eisenstein. They debuted it at a live performance on September 12, 2004, during a showing of the film at London's Trafalgar Square, and the studio recording is scheduled for CD release in September 2005. The score is primarily instrumental but includes several new songs with Neil's vocals: "Our Daily Bread," "No Time for Tears," "After All," and "For Freedom." The Battleship Potemkin concerns a 1904 revolt by Russian sailors—an event generally acknowledged as having foreshadowed the Russian Revolution more than a decade later. So if we count all 15 of the separately demarcated tracks in the score, that brings the total of PSB songs with "Russian connections" to 33!

Most of us are aware that the sci-fi series Doctor Who has been, for the better part of more than 40 years, a virtual institution on British television as well a cult success elsewhere, including the States. But how many of us know about the connections—definite or at least possible—between Doctor Who and the Pet Shop Boys?

1. Both Neil and Chris are professed Doctor Who fans

To be sure, this is a trait they share with countless others. But the Boys are in a position to have talked about it to the press on several occasions. (Chris: "I'm a huge Doctor Who fan…." Neil: "I could see me being Doctor Who." ) In fact, they've gone so far as to suggest that they wouldn't be averse to creating special music for Doctor Who if they were ever specifically asked to do so.

2. "Radiophonic"

The concept of the Nightlife track "Radiophonic" is based in part on the BBC "Radiophonic Workshop" from the early 1960s, from which the original Doctor Who theme music was developed.

3. David Tennant

By his own admission, actor, PSB fan, and "Tenth Doctor" David Tennant, born David McDonald, borrowed his "stage surname" of Tennant from Neil because there was another working actor with the same birthname as his.

4. Ian Levine

DJ/producer/songwriter Ian Levine, who remixed the Boys' "It's a Sin" and "Paninaro," not only is a huge Doctor Who fan but has also written music for several related projects, including the ill-fated (it apparently never went beyond the pilot stage) Doctor Who spinoff series K-9 and Company.

5. Queen Angvia goes "Shameless"

A 2002 Doctor Who audio drama, "Bang-Bang-A-Boom," is at heart a parody of the Eurovision Song Contest and is liberally peppered with pop-culture references and in-jokes. At one point, one of the contestants, Queen Angvia, all in a panic before going on stage, cries out, "My makeup! My wardrobe! My wig!"—a direct quote from the Pet Shop Boys' "Shameless," which Angvia tips off by adding "The shame…!"

6. The KLF connection

In the guise of "The Timelords," Bill Drummond and Jimmy Cauty had a 1988-89 hit with "Doctorin' the Tardis" (remixed as "Gary in the Tardis"), which mashed the theme music of Doctor Who with (of all things) Gary Glitter's "Rock and Roll Part 2." Shortly thereafter they switched their handle to "The KLF" (for "Kopyright Liberation Front") and, among other acts of musical mayhem, remixed the Pet Shop Boys' "So Hard" and "It Must Be Obvious."

7. Kylie Minogue

Pop princess Kylie Minogue—to whom the Boys gave their song "Falling" and who duetted with Neil on "In Denial"—had a major guest role on the Christmas 2007 Doctor Who episode "Voyage of the Damned," portraying a waitress on spacecraft named the Titanic. (Now, who in their right mind would christen a spacecraft the Titanic?)

8. The Little Britain connection

Bigtime PSB fans David Walliams and Matt Lucas, better known collectively by the name of their TV comedy show Little Britain, had a central role in the music video for "I'm with Stupid." And each episode of the Little Britain show features narration by the actor Tom Baker, best known as the fourth and arguably most popular Doctor.

9. Damaged Goods

An official Doctor Who novel titled Damaged Goods, written by Russell T. Davies and published in 1996, is set primarily in 1987 Britain, during the Pet Shop Boys' "imperial phase" of peak popularity, and contains some explicit PSB references. For instance, at one point it refers quite pointedly to "It's a Sin." It notes that the Doctor himself is completely ignorant of the Pet Shop Boys. And at one point a character specifically describes one of the novel's villains—a nasty medical consultant who tries to kill the Doctor—as looking "like Neil Tennant," which really doesn't mean anything to the Doctor since, after all, he doesn't know who Neil Tennant is.

10. A "favorite partnership"

In connection with "Partners in Crime," the first episode of the 2008 series, the official BBC Doctor Who website has run a video interview with the aforementioned "Tenth Doctor," David Tennant, and Catherine Tate (who portrays Donna Noble, his companion for the 2008 series) in which the two talk about their all-time "favorite partnerships." They cite among them the Pet Shop Boys.

Plus one more questionable connection—

11. Chris on a Doctor Who forum?

An online Doctor Who forum asked fans to write of any personal experiences they may have had encountering "on-location" filming of the series. Someone going by the name "Chris Lowe" wrote that he had encountered scene-shooting on a street late at night while returning home from "clubbing." Now we know that "our" Chris Lowe is a Doctor Who fan. And we know he goes clubbing. But was this really "our" Chris Lowe? Or was it another Chris Lowe? (After all, "Chris Lowe" is not at all an uncommon name.) Or maybe it was a mutual PSB/Doctor Who fan who decided to usurp the name for purposes of contributing to the forum. Unless "our" Chris addresses this issue publicly, we can only speculate.

There's no shortage of references to death throughout the PSB corpus. For instance, as is often pointed out here and elsewhere, the spectre of AIDS has cast its melancholy pall across their catalog. Nevertheless, the album Fundamental and its associated singles and bonus tracks seem especially haunted by death—and this time the primary culprit isn't AIDS but rather those twin murderers terrorism and war. If you doubt this, here perhaps is ample evidence to persuade you. (And many thanks to Jeff Durst for suggesting this list and providing most of the examples.)

1. The cover of Fundamental

Almost all black, with the Boys themselves, barely visible, dressed in black as well. Neil, with his top hat, is wearing clothing reminiscent of a nineteenth-century undertaker. The whole album, of course, reflects moods and concerns arising from the 9/11 terrorist attacks and the ensuing "war on terror."

2. The album's dedication

As stated in its liner notes, Fundamental is dedicated to Mahmoud Asgari and Ayaz Marhoni, two Iranian youths executed by their government in 2005 allegedly for raping a boy—an allegation that many observers believe was fabricated to justify the judicial murder of gay teenagers.

3. "Psychological"

"…an undertaker in a bowler hat.…down in the cemetary…."

4. "The Sodom and Gomorrah Show"

"Sun, sex, sin, divine intervention, death, and destruction!"

5. "I Made My Excuses and Left"

Not literal death, but metaphorical—a rather funereal recounting of the death of a love affair, the metaphor implied by the lyrics themselves: "All that I know is when you feel inside you're dying, it all begins again, defying your excuses."

6. "Minimal"

This may be a stretch, but the song opens with images of black and white, the two colors that also dominate the video. In western cultures, black is the color traditionally associated with death, whereas, conversely, in many eastern cultures it's white that's considered the "color of death." The video, though filmed in color, is similarly (and clearly by design) almost completely black and white.

7. "Numb"

A song of profound grief inspired by the death of its composer Diane Warren's mother. And couldn't death itself be considered the ultimate "numbness"? Meanwhile, the packaging artwork for the single features a photo of Chris and Neil wearing medieval plague doctor masks.

8. "Luna Park"

A lyric replete with dark, foreboding imagery, including "a storm will come one day to blow us all away."

9. "I'm with Stupid"

While this song is less concerned with death than most on the album, one can't help but consider the international life-and-death implications of Bush-Blair political relationship. Would the Iraq War even have occurred? Probably. But Blair's cooperation no doubt greatly facilitated the Bush agenda. And where there is war, there is death. Also, what about the implications of "a hawk chasing a dove"? Sounds like a fatal attraction to me.

10. "Casanova in Hell"

The focus here is on aging, impending death, and taking charge of one's own post-death legacy—in Casanova's particularly successful case, through his memoirs.

11. "Integral"

Again a stretch perhaps, but could this be considered another metaphorical death—in this case, the death of liberty?

12. "Girls Don't Cry"

In this song inspired by the film Boys Don't Cry, itself inspired by the true story of murdered transsexual Brandon Teena, there's no direct mention of death, although it hovers immediately overhead. After all, "It's the final day."

13. "The Resurrectionist"

A tale of Victorian graverobbers embellished with darkly humorous gems like "We don't bring them back to life, but we do bring them back from the dead."

14. "Fugitive"

"There's always a new way to heaven" in a narrative almost certainly told from the point of view of a terrorist, eager to be "released from the world" as he prepares to commit a suicidal act of mass murder

15. Neil's skull t-shirt

On several public occasions during the "Fundamental era" Neil has sported a black t-shirt with a prominent stylized white skull on the front. He even wears it in the "Integral" video. It may be one of those arty t-shirts depicting the famous Damien Hirst diamond-encrusted skull, though I haven't had a good enough look at it to be sure. Whatever the case, at least it's relatively tasteful as skull t-shirts go; I mean, it doesn't have flames shooting out of the eye-sockets or anything like that.

1. That "Pet Shop Boys" refers to a bizarre sexual practice
   Status: FALSE
   

   This rumor has dogged them from the start. As the story goes, "pet shop boys" is American slang for homosexuals who derive sexual gratification from putting hamsters up their behind. First of all, that particular alleged sexual practice is almost certainly homophobic urban myth since anyone who were to attempt such a thing would surely suffer horrific and potentially fatal injury. As for the name, Neil and Chris assert that they borrowed their moniker from the nickname of some friends who indeed owned a pet shop, and they liked it because it sounded somewhat "hip-hoppish." They maintain steadfastly that they were shocked and amazed by the rumors that began to circulate shortly after they hit it big. Neil has said, perhaps somewhat jokingly, that Chris "has been embarrassed by the name Pet Shop Boys ever since.

2. That they're gay
   Status: TRUE (with only a slight hedge)
   

   This one—which surfaced very early on—of course proved at least half-true and almost certainly all true. Neil "came out" publicly in 1994. Chris, however, has proven more enigmatic. As far as I know he has never said the words "I am gay" within earshot of a reporter, but one can often read between the lines of his spoken statements and derive tacit assertions to that effect. And he has never denied that he's gay, despite such assertions in the press. At this point, rightly or wrongly, most fans and observers simply take it for granted.

3. That Chris and Neil are or have been lovers or met as "pickups"
   Status: PROBABLY FALSE
   

   They have repeatedly and adamantly denied this. As Neil once put it, "'We have a very close relationship, but it’s nothing to do with sex."

4. That one or both of them have AIDS or are HIV-positive
   Status: AIDS - FALSE; HIV - UNCERTAIN
   

   Gossip about one of both of them having AIDS was somewhat common in the early and mid-1990s. Again, Chris and Neil have repeatedly denied this, and they reportedly wrote "The Survivors" at least partly in response to the rumors. The AIDS rumors have died down significantly, but fans still sometimes speculate as to whether one of them may be HIV-positive—which, especially in recent years, isn't the same as "having AIDS." But ultimately that's all it is: speculation.

5. That Chris Lowe and Peter Andreas were lovers
   Status: UNCERTAIN

   Peter Andreas was a personal assistant and close friend of the Pet Shop Boys. It is known that he and Chris lived together for several years. Peter passed away in 1994 of AIDS-related illness. The song "Postscript," sung by Chris, was reportedly written for him. Ever since, it has been widely rumored—and simply assumed by some—that Chris and Peter were lovers. This rumor has neither been confirmed nor, as far as I know, even acknowledged by the Pet Shop Boys.

6. That they're about to break up
   Status: FALSE (duh!)
   

   Rumors of the Pet Shop Boys breaking up seem to recur with remarkable regularity. The air was especially thick after the release of Discography, but Very put that particular outbreak to rest. Yet such rumors continue to crop out—even as recently as June 2004, apparently instigated (or at least propagated) by a Belgian radio DJ.

7. That Chris was killed in an automobile accident in Greece
   Status: FALSE (double-duh!)
   

   This rumor was rampant for a few weeks back in the mid-nineties. Subsequent public appearances, of course, proved it wrong. Thankfully, no "Chris is dead" mythology sprang up, probably because the Boys failed to carefully plant clues in their songs, videos, and album covers.

8. That the "Bizet Boys" were actually the Pet Shop Boys
   Status: FALSE
   

   This would have been ingenious if the record in question hadn't been so awful. In 1989 a single titled "Ride 'Em Carmen," performed by the "Bizet Boys," was released by the Pet Shop Boys' record label, Parlophone. Essentially, it was a dance-pop ditty that sounded like a bizarre cross between the can-can and "The Toreador Song" from Georges Bizet's great opera Carmen. The disc's sleeve boasted prominent question marks but no pictures of the "Bizet Boys," nor were the performers' full names apparent anywhere. The rumor quickly spread that the Bizet Boys were actually the Pet Shop Boys, perhaps collaborating with the then-popular boy band Bros. It wasn't true but, as it turns out, that rumor was precisely the intention. The brains behind "Ride 'Em Carmen" were none other than Tom Watkins—at the time the Pet Shop Boys' and Bros' manager—and Tony James of Sigue Sigue Sputnik. Their apparent plan to produce a hit via rumor failed; the record stiffed. The disc, however, is now something of a minor collector's item.

9. That Neil cried when he first heard New Order's "Blue Monday"
   Status: PROBABLY FALSE
   

   According to a 2001 article in Mojo magazine, Neil broke out in tears in 1983 when he first heard "Blue Monday" by New Order because, presumably, it pre-empted the style of music that he and Chris were planning to create as the Pet Shop Boys. In fact, Neil has been quoted as saying "I nearly burst into tears" (of envy, it would seem) upon hearing that New Order classic. But whether he actually cried, it's probably unlikely.

10. That "The Theatre" contains a loop of someone saying the word "arsehole"
    Status: FALSE
    

    Neil flatly denied this rumor in an interview conducted by journalist Steve Pafford in the July 2002 issue of the U.K. magazine Gay Times.

11. That Neil and Kevin Spacey are or have been an "item"
    Status: FALSE

    In the spring of 2004 talk began going around that Neil and Oscar-winning actor Kevin Spacey dined together regularly, suggesting that the two were lovers. This rumor was vigorously refuted by Neil, who attributed it to the gossip press trying to imply that Spacey is gay—a thoroughly rampant rumor in its own right. Neil was understandably upset that gossipmongers would try to exploit his open gayness in such a fashion. The fact is that, at least at the time the story surfaced, the two men had never met. Though this rumor soon subsided, it has briefly recurred a few times since then. Good rumors die hard. It's enough to make me wonder, however, whether the person who first dreamed this story up may have been inspired by the fact that Neil has a pet dog named Kevin.

12. That the Pet Shop Boys aren't really gay after all
    Status: FALSE (again with only that slight hedge)

    Perhaps the most remarkable PSB rumor of all, discussed on a regular basis on various Internet fansites. The supposed rationale is that the Boys foster their "gay image" so as not to be pestered by overzealous female fans and/or to boost their "cred" and popularity in the realm of dance music. (Don't look for logic here, people.) Although, as far as I know, Chris has never come right out (so to speak) and publicly said, "I'm gay," I suspect the rumor can pretty much be ascribed to wishful thinking on the part of certain fans.

    A major corollary has more recently surfaced, linking Neil romantically with his friend and frequent social companion, U.K. media executive/personality Janet Street-Porter. To comment much further on the basic absurdity of such rumors would be akin to flogging the proverbial dead horse. Then again, I suspect that at least some proponents are fully aware of this absurdity. In other words, there may be a bit of ironic "wink, wink, nudge, nudge" playfulness in their online gossip, as though they know full well that the rumors are ridiculous but nevertheless enjoy pretending to believe them.

13. That the Pet Shop Boys have remixed New Order's "True Faith"
    Status: FALSE

    This one is so pervasive that it perhaps goes beyond the status of mere rumor. A surprisingly large number of websites refer to a "Pet Shop Boys remix" of the New Order classic "True Faith." This particular mix was even reportedly used in an episode of the U.S. version of Queer As Folk. While "True Faith" did indeed appear in such an episode (I know because I watched it), it was not a "Pet Shop Boys remix." The Pet Shop Boys themselves have denied that any such remix exists. It's difficult to say how this error originated. It could be that someone—possibly under the influence of a mind-altering chemical—saw that there was a "Perfecto remix," part of the "True Faith '94" single release, and misinterpreted it as a "Pet Shop Boys remix," and the mistake simply perpetuated itself from that point on. There's also a Shep Pettibone remix, so perhaps the combination of Shep's "Pet…" surname and/or his frequent early remixing work for the Boys resulted in some confusion. Unauthorized file-sharing may have played a role as well. That is, if someone were to have distributed an audio file of "True Faith" that they said is a "Pet Shop Boys remix," then that would explain the many online references to something that doesn't really exist.

14. That Robbie Williams's album Intensive Care would feature collaborations with the Pet Shop Boys
    Status: FALSE (but…)

    The Pet Shop Boys and U.K. pop superstar Robbie Williams constitute something of a mutual admiration society; Robbie is a professed admirer of the Boys' music, having covered "I Wouldn't Normally Do This Kind of Thing," while Neil provided backup vocals for Robbie's hit "No Regrets." So it sounded entirely reasonable when, several months before its release, word spread rapidly on the Internet that Robbie Williams's late 2005 album Intensive Care would include one or more tracks written (or co-written) and/or produced by the Pet Shop Boys. Alas, however, this is not the case. Although one might argue that some of it betrays a distinct PSB influence—an advance reviewer has stated that Robbie's singing style in the song "Sin Sin Sin" (its title itself suggestive) closely resembles Neil's own vocal style—reliable reports indicate that neither of the Boys were directly involved with the album's writing or recording.

    But false rumors sometimes have a way of becoming true. As it turns out, the Pet Shop Boys indeed collaborated with Robbie on two tracks on Rudebox, the 2006 follow-up to Intensive Care. One of those tracks is a new song they wrote with him titled "She's Madonna." The other is a remake of the My Robot Friend track "We're the Pet Shop Boys," which Neil and Chris themselves covered in 2003.

15. That "Minimal" samples the voice of an "artificial dog"
    Status: PROBABLY FALSE

    This is actually two rumors rolled into one. Even before the album Fundamental was officially released, the online PSB community was rife with the rumor that the chorus of one of its tracks, "Minimal," featured samples of the voice of the robot dog K-9 from the Doctor Who TV series. (If this were true, it would qualify as an entry in my list of PSB/Doctor Who connections.) That rumor soon faded away, only to be replaced later on by the more persistent rumor that the "Minimal" chorus actually sampled the voice of the roaming troubadour dog K.K. Slider from the Nintendo game Animal Crossing: Wild World. Neither of these rumors have been confirmed by the PSB camp. A comparison of the voices/sounds in question does reveal similarities—but, most likely, nothing more. At least as far as this commentator is concerned, the rumors are understandable but unfounded.

16. That one (or both) of them is secretly the father of one or more children
    Status: ALMOST CERTAINLY FALSE

    A likely corollary to #12 above. A rumor began making the rounds in late 2006 that Chris is secretly the father of one or more children who are in the highly circumspect care of a nanny. By mid-2007 the focus of this story shifted to Neil as the alleged "secret father." While by no means outside the realm of possibility, both versions of this rumor are of course almost certainly untrue.

17. That the Pet Shop Boys would be collaborating with Britney Spears and/or Paris Hilton
    Status: FALSE

    As January 2007 came to a close, a number of entertainment-related websites were reporting that, as part of a major comeback bid, U.S. pop singer Britney Spears was lined up to collaborate with the Pet Shop Boys on her new album. Some sites even suggested that it was a fait accompli. Word spread so widely and so quickly that the Boys themselves felt the need to refute it on their official website. This rumor conceivably might have begun with Britney stating somewhere that she would very much like to work with the Pet Shop Boys, with the story mushrooming from there. Around the same time, similar rumors cropped up about the Boys working with Paris Hilton—or at the least doing a remix for her—but these, too, proved false.

18. That Disco 4 would be released in summer 2007
    Status: ESSENTIALLY TRUE (only the timing was off)

    In June 2007, online PSB fandom buzzed with the rumor that the Pet Shop Boys would release Disco 4, the fourth in their series of Disco albums, later that summer, with "Integral" (most likely a new remix) also to be released as a single from it. Word that they might release such an album wasn't surprising in and of itself, but rather that it might appear so soon after Disco 3. (Disco was released in 1986, Disco 2 in 1994, and Disco 3 in 2003, so a Disco 4 wasn't "due" until around 2011-2012.) Fueling this rumor was the fact that several reputable commercial websites had indeed listed Disco 4 and an "Integral" single as pending releases! This rumor proved essentially true, although Disco 4 would ultimately appear in October 2007 rather than late summer, and (much to fans' surprise) it would consist primarily of PSB remixes of tracks by other artists. Also, "Integral" wasn't released as a single except as a DJ promo and a digital download.

19. That PSB wrote a song titled "Fill Me with Desire" for Kylie Minogue
    Status: FALSE

    At least two different U.K. papers reported in mid-July 2007 that the Pet Shop Boys had written a song titled "Fill Me with Desire" for Kylie Minogue and had recorded it with her with an eye toward including it on her next album. It was even supposedly a prime candidate for her next single. But it turns out that there's no such song. Where do the papers come up with such things

20. That Neil and Chris pseudonymously remixed Alison Moyet's single "Whispering Your Name"
    Status: UNCERTAIN

    This rumor began soon after the 1994 release of this single by former Yaz/Yazoo singer Alison Moyet, and it periodically resurfaces from time to time. Both the single itself and the "extended single mix" were remixed by a pair of guys credited as "Johnny Nitrate" and "Steve Rocket"—names that certainly sound like pseudonyms and which have apparently never appeared as credits anywhere else before or since. Fueling the speculation about who Johnny Nitrate and Steve Rocket may be is the fact that, at least to some ears, these remixes bear a strong stylistic resemblance the work of Very-era (that is, the contemporary) Pet Shop Boys. As far as I know, this rumor has never been denied, confirmed, nor refuted, which for the time being leaves it in the realm of possibility. If it is indeed true, legal/contractual limitations (Moyet was recording for rival label Columbia) may account for the secrecy.

21. That "Closer to Heaven" contains a sample from an episode of Frasier
    Status: FALSE

    The Wikipedia entry for the album Nightlife states that the song "Closer to Heaven" contains a speech sample from the episode "The Matchmaker" from the second season of the hit U.S. TV comedy Frasier. But it doesn't offer a source for this information, and I've been unable to find any corroborating evidence. What's more, I've repeatedly listened very carefully to that track at rather high volume, and I simply can't discern any such sample. Clinching the matter, a reliable source within the PSB organization has confirmed that no such sample exists.

22. That the Pet Shop Boys were killed in plane crash over Indonesia
    Status: FALSE

    The Boys' record company, Parlophone, received at least two calls in early 2008 from U.K. radio station personnel asking whether it was true that Neil and Chris had been killed in a plane crash in Indonesia. Parlophone was quite pleased to inform them that there was no truth to the rumor.

23. That they hoped to record a James Bond theme with Amy Winehouse
    Status: FALSE

    On May 21, 2008, NME relayed the "hot gossip" that the Pet Shop Boys had been working on the theme to the upcoming James Bond film Quantum of Solace and were interested in recording it with chanteuse du jour Amy Winehouse. The very next day the infamous Sun published a slightly more detailed article, presenting the rumor more or less as fact. And from there various other papers quickly picked up the story. But the Boys wasted no time quashing this tale, stating on their official website that the Sun article was "totally made-up … complete with fictional quotes." Apparently it all stemmed from Neil mentioning in passing during his onstage interview less than a week earlier at the Brighton Festival that he and Chris wouldn't mind working with Amy, but they thought it unlikely to happen. A local journalist then, as Neil put it, "claimed to have had a private interview with me backstage … and wrote up this fake story complete with invented 'quotes' from me."

 1. "Love Comes Quickly"

Just before it was released as a single, Chris reportedly said that he was too embarrassed to announce its title because of its unintentional innuendo.

 2. The opening lines of "What Have I Done to Deserve This?"

"You always wanted a lover. I only wanted a job." Think about it.

 3. "So Hard"

Whereas the previous two were almost certainly unintentional, this one probably wasn't since the recording contains a brief sample from a porno film in which the title words are spoken—by a young woman, according to Neil, but it sure as heck sounds like a young man. Add to that the fact that pairs of boxer shorts emblazoned "So Hard" across the front were issued as promo items (which may or may not have been the Boys' idea, but there you have it) and you can't deny that sly innuendo must have been on somebody's mind.

 4. "It Must Be Obvious"

Not so much a sexual as a sexuality innuendo. Neil has acknowledged the pun of the title.

 5. "Bet She's Not Your Girlfriend"

Inspired by a newspaper photo of George Michael with a woman.

 6. Bilingual

Another punning innuendo, although since Neil had already "come out" by the time of this album, it's probably not about him in particular. But if, as the Boys have averred, it's a pun on "bisexual," then to whom does it refer? Perhaps the narrator of the song "Single"? Let's leave it at that.

7. The opening line of "One of the Crowd"

When Chris intones about going fishing with his "rod," somehow I don't think he has salmon or trout in mind. Actually, this metaphor struck me as so blatant that I didn't even think it qualified as "innuendo." But then I learned that it does indeed slip past some listeners, so I guess it belongs in this list after all.

1. Spitting Image - "How the Hell Do We Keep Getting Away with This?"

The most elaborate PSB parody ever, originally appearing as the closing bit on a late 1993 or early 1994 episode of the hugely popular U.K. satirical television show Spitting Image (which ran for eleven years starting in the mid-eighties). A pair of typically grotesque Spitting Image puppets of Neil and Chris perform this full-length original number, clearly based on "Go West" and its video, in which they marvel at how they keep "getting away" with having hit after hit, just doing what they do. The chorus includes these gems:

How the hell do we keep getting away with this?
How the hell did I make a career as a vocalist?
How the hell can we keep getting away with murder?
How the hell can our clothes get any absurder?
How the hell can all the songs be quite so duff?
How the hell can people actually like this stuff?

Despite the barbs, the Boys could only have been extremely pleased. As one commentator has put it, "you knew you'd arrived when you became a Spitting Image puppet." If you like, you can see it for yourself on YouTube.

2. French & Saunders - "It Pays Our Rent"

Simon Brint and Rowland Rivron, regulars as the duo "Raw Sex" on the U.K. French & Saunders show, performed an ingenious parody of "Rent" during the second series (1988). The chorus goes like this:

But you just stand behind me
With a TV and a keyboard
That someone has lent you
You're good at standing still
I'm quite good at singing
They love it
It pays our rent

The skit also featured the "Chris" character picking his nose out of boredom. Fortunately, the real Chris reportedly found it hilarious! And you can watch it, too.

3. Saturday Night Live - The "Napster Hearings" sketch

The premise of this sketch from the March 10, 2001 episode of the long-running U.S. comedy show is that a group of allegedly has-been eighties pop stars (including "David Lee Roth," "Toni Basil," and "Corey Hart," among others) are testifying before Congress about the harm done to their careers (and bank accounts) by illegal file-sharing on Napster. Program regular Jimmy Fallon appears as Neil Tennant, whose testimony begins—

Neil Tennant: I'm Neil Tennant. I used to be a part of the Pet Shop Boys.

Sen. Evan Bayh: Right. And what do you do now?

Neil Tennant: These days, I work in an actual pet shop. But I'm planning a big comeback. "In a west end town, a dead-end world. The end end boys and west end girls—"

Female Senator: Please, sir, stop singing.

Neil Tennant: "What have I—what have I—what have I done to deserve this?"

Female Senator: I said stop singing.

Neil Tennant: I wasn't singing! I'm flat broke, and I work in a pet shop! What have I done to deserve this?

Sen. Trent Lott: Next witness!

Of course, this portion of the sketch wouldn't make much sense in much of the world, where the Pet Shop Boys have continued to enjoy a hugely successful career well beyond the 1980s. It's only in the U.S. that they're considered a "has-been eighties band." In short, the sketch is provincial at best, and arguably downright ignorant. (And it's worth noting that in the live broadcast, Fallon mistakenly identifies himself as "Nigel Tennant." This has been corrected in the syndicated rebroadcasts of this episode, in which a superior dress-rehearsal version of the sketch is used instead.)

4. The Mary Whitehouse Experience - on several occasions

In both its October 20, 1990 and January 3, 1991 episodes, this British comedy show aired PSB parodies. I don't know anything yet about the second episode, but, in the first, comedian Rob Newman specifically parodies Chris in a sequence that alternates between him and actual TV footage of the Boys performing "So Hard." As Neil sings, "Chris" constantly whines and complains, trying to get Neil to switch places with him so that he can get to spend some time in the spotlight for a change. For instance, he mentions that he has recently had a talk with "the ugly one in Tears for Fears" and notes how he gets to sing now and then. (There were slightly different television and radio versions of this sketch. You can listen to the radio version online if you visit this site devoted to The Mary Whitehouse Experience and scroll down until you find the link to the October 20, 1990 episode. The PSB parody is at about 20:45, roughly two-thirds of the way through the recording.) In addition, a 1992 novelty single titled "Milky Milky (Take Me to the Fridge)," performed by Hugh Dennis as the recurring Mary Whitehouse Experience character Mr. Strange (billed as "Mr. Strange and the Lactose Brotherhood"), has also been described from a stylistic standpoint as a Pet Shop Boys parody.

5. Chris Morris - "The Unofficial Pet Shop Boys Xmas Record"

Morris is a highly controversial British satirist and media personality who broadcast this musical PSB parody in the early 1990s. Aside from opening with a few bars of "Good King Wenceslas" vaguely in the style of "It's a Sin" and making brief references in the third verse to "Noel" and Santa Claus, it's really not a "Christmas record." It probably is, however, the single most puerile item in this list. It makes unwarranted stabs at the Boys' musical talent, belabors such clichés as the similarity of Neil's voice to Al Stewart's (although the singer, whether it's Morris or a hireling, sounds like neither Tennant nor Stewart, thereby rendering the parody singularly ineffective on this point), and devotes the entire second verse to the already-by-then tired rumor about the alleged "kinky" origin of the name "Pet Shop Boys." (I must admit that the outrageous pun referring to Richard Gere as "an officer and a gerbil-man" is both clever and mildly humorous, if borderline libelous.) Worth a single listen and no more.

6. The Majesticons - "Brains Party"

Perhaps not so much a parody as a blatant appropriation for satirical purposes. Each of the fifteen tracks on Beauty Party, this rap act's 2003 exercise in relentless satire, is titled "[Something] Party." One of them, "Brains Party," boasts the following chorus borrowed and adapted from the Pet Shop Boys' "Opportunities (Let's Make Lots of Money)":

I've got the brains, you've got the looks
Let's make lots of money!
We have the game, we are the crooks
Let's take all their money!

This serves as part of a running commentary on both the extreme overuse of sampling in contemporary popular music (rap and hip-hop in particular) and the overarching materialism of the artists involved. By engaging in "lyrical sampling" while criticizing music sampling, the Majesticons pull the neat trick of backhandedly demonstrating the very thing that they're implicitly attacking—and getting away with it.

7. Steve Wright/BBC Radio 1 - "U2's Live PSB Medley"

Steve Wright, a popular BBC Radio DJ from 1979 to 1995, was known for his on-the-air music parodies and practical jokes. One of them, from around 1991, simultaneously poked fun at U2 and the Pet Shop Boys. The premise of the parody was a live "retaliation" for PSB having recently recorded "Where the Streets Have No Name." Allegedly in concert at Madison Square Garden, U2—or, more accurately, a singer mimicking Bono—performs a medley of the PSB songs "Rent" and "Shopping" blended with the gay anthems "Y.M.C.A." and "It's Raining Men," thereby cleverly parodying Bono's singing style (breathily overdone just enough to be comic) while satirizing the scarcely concealed "gay undercurrent" of the Pet Shop Boys' music. Notably, this was a couple of years before Neil made that undercurrent "official" by coming out. And it may also have inspired U2 to satirize the Village People (not to mention themselves) in their 1997 video for "Discotheque." At any rate, Wright's parody was sufficiently well executed that it has managed (via online circulation) to deceive many into believing it's a genuine live U2 recording.

8. Walliams and Lucas - "I'm with Stupid" video

We can't very well ignore the Boys' own "self-induced parody"—their video for "I'm with Stupid," starring David Walliams and Matt Lucas, best known for their hit comedy series Little Britain. With Walliams as "Neil" and Lucas as "Chris," the two mime the song while parodying the famous Very-era videos for "Can You Forgive Her?" (complete with orange jumpsuits) and "Go West." Tennant and Lowe themselves appear "tied up" at the end, depicted literally as a captive audience. A sly commentary on their public role as pop stars, perhaps—as "captives" of their own image and/or fame?

9. Walliams and Lucas (again) - Rock Profile "Vox Pops"

Back in 2001, before they hit it really big, Walliams and Lucas made two series of programs on the UK Play network called Rock Profile, where they relentlessly spoofed rock and pop stars. Each episode focused on one or two particular artists, usually portrayed by Walliams and Lucas themselves (sometimes with the assistance of others). Considering that the two of them—and Walliams especially—are major fans, it's surprising they never did an episode focusing on the Pet Shop Boys. But on at least three occasions they portrayed our heroes in short vignettes called "Vox Pops," a regular feature in which "other stars" commented on those at the center of attention. "Neil" and "Chris" (Walliams and Lucas, respectively) appear briefly in three episodes focusing on Take That, Blur, and Duran Duran. In the latter they're pointedly complaining that they haven't had their own episode yet.

10. Walliams and Lucas (one more time) - "I'm Gay"

Yes, there's certainly an element of PSB parody in this 2006 novelty track, but since the Boys themselves were at least indirectly involved, it merits its own separate entry on this website.

11. Brainstopping/Cabaret Digitale - "England, We Can Win It"

Just in time for the 2006 World Cup matches came this delightful PSB parody by comic duo Brainstopping (Matt Bowdler and Ben Manning) in the guise of music duo Cabaret Digitale (Ian Significant and Dave Bass). Got that? The music itself is somewhat in an early Pets style, coming across as the slightly backward offspring of an illicit tryst between "What Have I Done to Deserve This?" and "Go West"—although Matt has cited "The End of the World" as the biggest influence. But it's the video that really plays it up with some good-natured ribbing of assorted bits of PSB imagery and iconography, such as "Chris" playing his keyboard with one finger. Check it out for yourself!

12. Fast Forward - "What Have I Done to Be Served This?

The popular Australian sketch-comedy show Fast Forward (1989-1992) once ran an "advertisement" for a "joke album" titled Pat Cash's Greatest Hits (Pat Cash being an Australian world-class tennis champion). One of the album's songs was a PSB parody titled "What Have I Done to Be Served This?" As a brief snippet of it played, we see "Pat Cash" swinging and badly missing a tennis serve.

13. Full Frontal - "Go Hetero"

After Fast Forward ended in 1992, it was succeeded by another sketch-comedy spinoff, Full Frontal, which aired from 1993 to 1997. In 1994 it ran a full-blown parody of "Go West" and its video—obviously popular targets for joshing—including tacit commentary about the homoeroticism of both the song and the video itself. But it does far more than poke good-humored fun at our heroes' "gayness." It's actually a double-edged satire that also levels a more barbed critique at Tasmania, which, unlike the rest of Australia, still at that time had laws on the books criminalizing homosexuality. Dubbed "Go Hetero," the premise of the satire is that "the Boys," in order to increase their popularity in Australia, are going to stop trading in "ambiguity," would "go hetero"—at least as far as their public image is concerned—and had decided to relocate to Tasmania in order to confirm their new "straight" status (or to deflect suspicion). A strange premise, to be sure, but it makes its point. I'm not sure whether this aired shortly before or after Neil's official "coming out" but, whatever the case, it was timely. And, fortunately, Tasmania finally got around to decriminalizing consenting adult same-sexual behavior within a few years after this parody was made. Incidentally, "Neil" is potrayed by the openly gay comedian Glenn Butcher, "Chris" is played by John Walker, and future film star Eric Bana appears as one of the "Russian marchers"; all three of them were Full Frontal regulars.

14. Adam & Joe - Pet Shop Droids

The comedy duo of Adam & Joe—Adam Buxton and Joe Cornish—had their own hit show on UK Channel 4 from 1996 to 2001. Self-confessed "popular culture junkies," they specialized in using toys to satirize various aspects of modern life and entertainment. In one particularly creative segment (most likely from 1996) they managed to parody scads of pop-culture icons in one fell swoop by using Star Wars action figures to lampoon Stars in Their Eyes, a popular game show in which contestants imitated famous entertainers. They called it Star Wars in Their Eyes. A Darth Vader figurine does a parody of Grace Jones's "Slave to the Rhythm," retitled "Slave to the Dark Side." And R2D2 and C3PO figurines, appearing under the moniker "Pet Shop Droids"—and wearing orange jumpsuits and pointy caps à la the "Can You Forgive Her?" video—perform a blatant takeoff of "Se A Vida É" seemingly titled "R2D2, Touch Me," with lyrics suggesting that C3PO is very much in love with his much shorter partner. Layers of satire at work there, folks! You can check it out on YouTube if you like.

15. Trilambs - "Gay Ass Club"

The 2001 album It Wasn't Not Funny by the Los Angeles comic hiphop/rap troupe Trilambs features liberal (and apparently unauthorized) samples and recreations of classic pop-music riffs from such artists as the Beatles, the Rolling Stones, Madonna, Led Zeppelin, the Temptations, Dire Straits, U2, Simon and Garfunkel, Cyndi Lauper and, of all things, Sarah Brightman (in the hilarious "Smoover Jams," which satirizes hiphop makeout music). Included amongst this illustrious company are the Pet Shop Boys, whose "West End Girls" gets the appropriation treatment in a bit titled "Gay Ass Club." An openly gay member of Trilambs, who goes by the moniker Gay Jamie, sings to the familiar melody of the WEG chorus:

In a West Hollywood gay ass club
This is the song that you all love

The point of the track (if there really is one) seems to be a snide putdown of the dance/disco musical tastes of an older generation of gay men. Of course, the young always seem to rebel against the tastes and values of their elders, so why should gay youth be any different?

16. Flight of the Conchords - "Inner City Pressure"

Early in "Bret Gives Up the Dream," the second episode (first broadcast on June 24, 2007) of the HBO comedy series Flight of the Conchords, "New Zealand's fourth most popular folk-pop duo" launch into this delightful musical and visual parody of "West End Girls." Living in New York and forced by their desperate poverty to eat discarded sandwiches, they rap about contemplating prostitution and "second-hand underpants" as well as how "no one sympathizes—you just stay home and play synthesizers" (a flawed rhyme, but a terrific one nonetheless). At one point they even stand in front of a corrugated steel backdrop as Bret raps and Jemaine "fades" like Chris. Priceless! In fact, there's word that "Inner City Pressure" will be released as the first single from the duo's debut album, also titled Flight of the Conchords, scheduled for April 2008 release.

17. Sniff Petrol as "Pit Stop Boys" - "(It's Just That You Remind Me of) Alain Prost"

According to Wikipedia, Sniff Petrol is "a satirical British online magazine written chiefly by Richard Porter, with contributions from James May and others, dedicated to automobile-related humour." Since early 2006, it has had a regular segment on the popular automotive-themed podcast Gareth Jones on Speed, hosted by Welsh producer and media personality Gareth Jones. The October 10, 2007 episode concluded with Sniff Petrol's performance, in the guise of the "Pit Stop Boys," of a PSB parody titled "(It's Just That You Remind Me of) Alain Prost." (Prost is a great French Formula One racecar driver of the 1980s and '90s, a four-time world champion.) Sniff Petrol makes little attempt actually to sound like the Pet Shop Boys; the vocal, for instance, sounds nothing like Neil Tennant. The music, which is entirely original, could be described as "primitive synthpop"—sort of how you might imagine an early PSB demo would sound—and the equally original lyrics nod to the literate yet offhanded insouciance that a casual observer might regard (superficially, to be sure) as typical PSB. The chorus goes:

Girl you know I love you
And without you I'd be lost
It's just that you remind me
Quite a lot of Alain Prost

I don't think that's meant to be a compliment. Whatever the case, the very existence of such a parody indicates just what an institution the Pet Shop Boys have become in contemporary British culture.

18. Mel & Sue - "Decorating"

For several years the British comedy duo of Melanie "Mel" Giedroyc and Sue Perkins hosted an early evening show on U.K. Channel 4 titled Late Lunch, during which they performed comedy sketches, commented satirically on current events, and interviewed guests. Neil Tennant was one such guest—on their second episode, in fact, on April 1, 1998. In his honor (and quite appropriately enough considering it was April Fool's Day) they aired a brief video they had made of a song apparently titled "Decorating." An obvious takeoff on "Shopping," the music is virtually identical, while the running gag of the lyrics is the increasingly ludicrous (and lengthy) home-decorating terminology that they spell out, right down to S.P.O.N.G.E.E.F.F.E.C.T.I.N.G. Neil seemed to enjoy it thoroughly, commenting with typical understatement, "I thought it was quite amusing."

19. Die Prinzen - The video for "Alles Nur Geklaut"

The extremely clever music video for the German quintet Die Prinzen's 1993 single "Alles Nur Geklaut" parodies a wide assortment of famous pop acts, including AC/DC, Depeche Mode, Genesis, Peter Gabriel, Robert Palmer, Queen, U2, and ZZ Top, among others. They don't forget the Pet Shop Boys, either, with brief segments parodying their "Can You Forgive Her?" video. All of this borrowed imagery is highly appropriate considering that the lyrics of "Alles Nur Geklaut" (translated: "All Just Stolen") semi-satirically comment on how rock and pop stars invariably "steal" from their predecessors in the music business.

…and some borderline cases:

Sometimes there's a fine line between "tribute" and "parody." While there's almost always at least some element of tribute, if only backhandedly, in any parody, elements of parody can also appear in even the most heartfelt tributes. Perhaps the chief signifier is humor. The tribute band Pet Shop Noise clearly pays homage to the Boys, but from what I gather (I've never seen or heard them myself) overt humor isn't a major aspect of their performance. So the term "parody" probably doesn't apply well to them.

But then there's the case of Isabelle and Rosanna, the West End Girls—a Swedish female duo who do nothing but PSB covers, pattern themselves after Neil and Chris, and have adopted PSB iconography lock, stock, and tongue-in-cheek barrel. The transposition of "PSB semiotics" to women strongly suggests an inherently funny form of "faux drag," made all the more humorous by the intently straight-faced demeanor of the Girls in question, the occasional tongue-sticking-out-of-cheek notwithstanding. So is it tribute or parody? No law says that it can't be both. (And if you're interested, their debut album, Goes Petshopping, was released in June 2006.)

Finally, there's the unique tale of British songwriter and producer Jonathan King's 1987 remake of Cat Stevens's "Wild World" in the style of the Pet Shop Boys' "It's a Sin." (You can listen to a brief excerpt of it here.) King's point wasn't so much to parody PSB as to support his repeated public contention that Tennant and Lowe had plagiarized the melody of the Stevens song. To further his point, the single's cover art parodied the cover of Actually (with a "constructed" image of King himself and Stevens substituting for Chris and Neil) and featured the words "actually, It's a sin—to steal." In addition, the b-side was the old song "He's So Fine," which itself had been at the center of the notorious legal case in which George Harrison had been found guilty some years before of unintentionally plagiarizing it with "My Sweet Lord." At any rate, the Boys sued King and The Sun, which had published King's allegations. The case was settled out of court to the Boys' advantage, and they donated the undisclosed sum awarded them to charity. All this aside, although parody may not have been the objective, it was, in essence, a side-effect.*

*By the way, in case you're wondering whether I believe King's allegations had any merit, let me put it like this. His rendition of "Wild World" à la "It's a Sin" underscores both the similarities and the differences of the two melodies. That is, yes, they're similar—there's no getting around it. But they're also sufficiently different to completely absolve Neil and Chris of plagiarism. That's my opinion, and I'm sticking to it.

21 tracks that mention "Pet Shop Boys"

This list doesn't include assorted live recordings in which Neil and/or Chris introduce themselves as the Pet Shop Boys.

1. "Pet Shop Boys" by the Pet Shop Boys

This early (1984), relatively obscure "Bobby O-era" b-side served as something of a formal introduction.

2. "Theme for the Pet Shop Boys" by the Hurricanes

Presented as if it were a PSB track by sundry Bobby O collections, but not really. The man behind this 1984 recording is German producer Manfred Alois Segieth, aka Elvine, aka Tess.

3. "West End Girls" (Remix '86) by the Pet Shop Boys

Another early Bobby O track. He mixed in the "Pet Shop Boys" shout from "Theme for the Pet Shop Boys."

4. The Tyree mix of "It's Alright " by the Pet Shop Boys

Kicks off with "Pet Shop Boys get busy one time!"

5. Pet Shop Boys 1991 Megamix

This official promotional single was released in Sweden, containing snippets of a number of PSB songs. Both Boys introduce themselves by name, concluding, "We're the Pet Shop Boys."

6. "Liberation" (E Smoove 12" Mix) by the Pet Shop Boys

The rapper exhorts, "Pet Shop Boys, feel liberation!" (In the case of this particular remix, in which barely a trace of the original track remains, I use the credit "by the Pet Shop Boys" guardedly.)

7. "Absolutely Fabulous" by Absolutely Fabulous (Pet Shop Boys with Jennifer Saunders and Joanna Lumley)

"It's the bloody Pet Shop Boys, sweetie!"

8. "Generic Jingle" by the Pet Shop Boys

All of 14 seconds, primarily consisting of the distorted text "This is a generic jingle for Radio 1 FM, Pet Shop Boys, Pet Shop Boys."

9. "We're the Pet Shop Boys" by My Robot Friend (later covered by the Pet Shop Boys themselves and by Robbie Williams)

"In my heart we're the Pet Shop Boys," sings the narrator in this sad, nostalgic tale of lost love. That the Boys decided to cover what amounts to an homage to themselves is remarkable in both the literal and general sense of the word.

10. "Wonderboy" by Alphaville

The popular German synthpop band opens this song (from their 2003 Crazy Show box set) with the following lines:

I haven't been very good for some time
But now I listen to the music once again
To Bowie and the Pet Shop Boys

Listening to this music seems to be an important part of the narrator's process of "getting better" from a failed relationship. He's finally starting to feel like "wonderboy again."

11. "Sinatra" by Alain Chamfort

The career of French singer-songwriter Alain Chamfort spans more than thirty years and counting. His 2003 album Le Plaisir includes this song, something of a tribute to Frank Sinatra that also mentions in passing a number of more contemporary artists: David Bowie, Björk, Lou Reed, Nirvana, Air, Daft Punk, Madonna, and, sure enough, the Pet Shop Boys. More precisely, it's a "breakup song" in which the narrator is going through his and his erstwhile girlfriend's CD collection, determining who gets what as they prepare to part ways. As it turns out, pretty much all the narrator wants are the Sinatra CDs. All the rest—including the Pet Shop Boys—his ex-lover can take. The specific line in question is "Les Pet Shop Boys sont à toi"; that is, "The Pet Shop Boys are yours." If you ask me, she's getting the much better end of the deal!

12. "Canibitch" by Eminem

This track reportedly appears on Straight Out the Lab, an "underground EP" of otherwise unreleased raps by Eminem, parts of which have been circulating online. The primary target here of Eminem's bile is rival rapper Canibus—the two have a running feud—but Mr. Mathers can't resist insulting assorted others along the way. At one point during the narrative he and his mentor/cohort Dr. Dre are driving at top speed to Canada, casually running over a few people en route. Among those disposed of in this manner are the Pet Shop Boys, mentioned very briefly in passing (literally). Eminem offers no further comment on our heroes. This of course was inspired by "The Night I Fell in Love"; the Boys probably wouldn't have appeared on Eminem's radar screen otherwise. Neil and Chris surely knew that their song would earn them some sort of recognition, so to speak, in an Eminem rap. They just as surely relished the prospect.

13. "Another Kind of Judy" by Billy Bragg

This song, from British punk-urban-folkie-protest-singer Billy Bragg's 2002 album England, Half English, sounds like a rather unflattering portrait of a former lover, or at least of an former love affair. It includes the thoroughly uncomplimentary couplet—

She filled my head with the awful noise
Of her disappointment and the Pet Shop Boys

—which surely won't earn Billy an invitation to any upcoming parties Chris or Neil may decide to throw. Not, I suspect, that Billy would be terribly interested.

14. "Colección de Favoritas" by Los Sencillos

This Spanish-language song—which appears on a 1999 album of the same name (it translates as "Collection of Favorites")—includes the following lines:

Coleccionabas coches de Scalextric
Coleccionabas discos de Elvis y los Pet Shop Boys

Translation:
You collected Scalextric cars
You collected records by Elvis and the Pet Shop Boys

Los Sencillos' lead singer, Miqui Puig, is now a solo performer who has repeatedly professed PSB fandom.

15. "Sometimes without the Pet Shop Boys" by blaknoisewhitesoul

I discuss the unfortunate saga of this song elsewhere on this website. In fact, the lyrics are so difficult to make out that I'm not even sure whether "Pet Shop Boys" is mentioned anywhere other than in the title. But, by virtue of that very title, I figure it merits inclusion in this list.

16. "Back to Yazoo" by Royal Visionaires

The title track of a 2004 album by this Swedish-American duo—that is, one of them is Swedish and the other American—cleverly mentions a number of synth-pop bands by name, though usually in a context other than the bands' names per se. For instance, one line goes "My friends are joined in a human league." PSB gets name-checked with "Why don't we stop at the pet shop, boys?" Other groups that receive similar treatment include Sparks, New Order, Alphaville, Culture Club, OMD, and, of course, Yazoo, among others.

17. "El Jevito" by Toque Profundo

Toque Profundo (which translates as "Deep Touch") is a Dominican rock band whose 1996 album La Moneda contains this song, the title of which is Dominican Spanish slang for a young man who's a slave to fashion—"the little fashionplate," as it were. The lyrics focus on one such young man, mentioning several artists as a means of describing his tastes. The lines that most interest us are:

Con su Pet Shop Boys no hay cuento que valga
Y maldice al Disc Jokey si pone a Sergio Vargas

Idomiatically translated: "With his Pet Shop Boys he doesn't joke around, and he gets angry if the disc jockey instead plays Sergio Vargas [a popular Dominican singer]." The lyrics go on to say how the central character loves New Wave music, but that Michael Jackson reigns supreme in his tastes.

18. "The Sodom and Gomorrah Show" (demo version) by the Pet Shop Boys

Released officially as a "bonus" via U.K. iTunes, this demo features the words "Pet Shop Boys" spoken hastily—twice, I believe—during a bit of cacophony at the end of the middle eight (aka the bridge).

19. "How Cool … Pet Shop Boys" by The Garland Cul

Self-styled as "Ireland's most glamorous electro dance act," The Garland Cult (the duo of Aidan Casserly and Lar Kiernan) are slated to include a song titled "How Cool … Pet Shop Boys" on their upcoming 2008 limited-edition album Glitterazzi. This PSB tribute song is reportedly recorded in a style that blends "Chicago house, electropop, and synthpop." Sounds marvelous!

20. "Fanatic Boy" by KoolTURE

This song, written and recorded as part of the PSB fan charity project Philanthropy, was inspired by a sad but true story: the sudden death of a young fan, suffering from cancer, only a few days before he was scheduled to attend his first PSB concert. The Pet Shop Boys are mentioned in the first verse.

21. "New York" by Montt Mardié

From this Swedish singer's 2005 debut full-length album Drama, the second verse of this song includes a line referring to his girlfriend talking about "Pet Shop Boys and modern art."

Honorable Mention: "If Neil Tennant Was My Lover" by Le Sport

The words "Pet Shop Boys" don't appear at all in this meditation on what it might be like to love a gay celebrity by the Swedish band Le Sport, appearing on their 2006 album Euro Deluxe Dance Party. But, not surprisingly, Neil's name is sung repeatedly. My favorite line: "Would he be my man and stand up and fight for me?"

Robert Christgau is one of America's best-known rock/pop music critics. In his career of 30+ years he has reviewed more than 11,000 albums for New York's Village Voice and is known for the pithy brevity of his reviews (which are rarely more than five or six sentences in length) and the concluding letter grades he assigns to each album.

Truth be told, Christgau has pretty high regard for the Pet Shop Boys. ("What a cerebral band," he once wrote of them, and he has described their oeuvre as "exquisite album[s] of tunefully theoretical pop disco.") Seldom has he given an album of theirs a negative review. You can read his complete reviews of the Boys' albums on his website and in certain of his books, but I simply wanted to list his concluding letter grades here. (His own descriptions of the meanings of his letter grades are provided below.)

Please: A-
Disco: B
Actually: A-
Introspective: A-
Behaviour: **
Discography: A
Very: A
Disco 2:
Alternative: **
Bilingual: A-
Nightlife: A-
Release: B+
Fundamental: **

A: "A great record [that offers] enduring pleasure and surprise. You should own it.… Not every listener will feel what it's trying to do, but anyone with ears will agree that it's doing it."

A-: "A very good record.… Anyone open to its aesthetic will enjoy more than half its tracks."

B+: "A good record.… Remarkable one way or another, yet also flirts with the humdrum or the half-assed."

B: "An admirable effort that aficionados of the style or artist will probably find quite listenable."

**: "Honorable Mention … a likable effort consumers attuned to its overriding aesthetic or individual vision may well enjoy." (A record with this rating is roughly equivalent to a B on Christgau's grading scale.)