If Looks Could Kill
Writers - Tennant/Lowe
First released - 2003
Original album - Disco 3
Producer - Pet Shop Boys
Subsequent albums - Release 2017 reissue Further Listening 2001-2004 bonus disc
Other releases - (none)
This is another of the songs that were recorded for The John Peel Show, but appears here in a different recording with a somewhat more complex, more sophisticated arrangement. "If Looks Could Kill" was written by the Boys back in 1983. Lacking the melodic and harmonic sophistication of their later work, it's nonetheless an enjoyably poppy, uptempo number highlighted instrumentally by a "fuzzy" bass synth (which replaces the organ or organ samples in the "Peel session" version).
According to Neil, this song is about "confronting a very bitchy person." The lyrics, written in the second person, address someone with whom the narrator has an obviously antagonistic relationship. These two people have extremely sour feelings toward each other, as the recurring refrain makes perfectly clear: "I'd be dead if looks could kill." But our protagonist isn't bothered by this near-deadly gaze. In fact, he has become thoroughly inured to it. And the ill-will is hardly one-sided, as the narrator offers a virtual litany of snide put-downs, describing the other person's "tales of woe, droning on and on," and asserting that "you're fooling no one and you never will."
And it would seem that the whole unpleasant affair will soon be coming to some kind of climax: "Welcome to a unique event where we see what you represent." Unfortunately, we're not let in on the precise nature of this particular "event." But we can't help but wonder whether Neil and/or Chris were inspired by real-life events—by someone one or both of them actually knew—when they wrote this scathing diatribe.
Annotations
- "I'd be dead if looks could kill" – The expression on which this song is based, "If looks could kill" (along with its sometimes spoken, sometimes unspoken corollary, "I/you/he/she would be a dead man/woman") has been around in English for a long time. Its origin is uncertain, although it was certainly coined no more recently than the 1890s since it's used in Bram Stoker's 1897 novel Dracula. A cliché that means precisely what it says in reference to someone's extremely hostile, hateful gaze, it's been used countless times in popular culture. It has served as the title of numerous other songs, including one in 1985 by Heart, in 1990 by Transvision Vamp, and in 2001 by Beyoncé. (Interestingly, these three tracks—each a completely different song—were all released before the PSB recording of the same name, although Neil and Chris wrote their song before the others ever saw the light of day.) The line "If looks could kill then I'd be a dead man" was also famously used by Elton John in his 1976 hit "I Feel Like a Bullet (in the Gun of Robert Ford)," lyrics Bertie Taupin.
Mixes/Versions
Officially released
- Mixer: Bob Kraushaar
- Disco 3 album version (4:11)
- Also on one of the "Further Listening" bonus discs accompanying the 2017 Release reissue
- Disco 3 album version (4:11)
- Mixer: Guy Worth
- "Peel Sessions" rendition (4:23)
- On one of the "Further Listening" bonus discs accompanying the 2017 Release reissue
- "Peel Sessions" rendition (4:23)
List cross-references
- The key signatures of selected PSB songs
- The early tracks that the Pet Shop Boys recorded with Ray Roberts and Bobby 'O'
- What it's about: Neil's succinct statements on what a song is "about"
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