Wayne's Little Online Book of PSB Lists

Wayne's Little Online Book of PSB Lists
(Part 1)

My "Lists page" had grown so large that I've decided to split it into three parts so that they will load more quickly for you. The Table of Contents below still displays all of the lists, although the later links will take you to Part 2 and Part 3.

I've moved my tables of UK/US chart performance and PSB songs "live" to my new "Extras" section.

10 things the Pet Shop Boys did to commit career suicide in the United States

It’s an ugly truth, a horrible reality, and a total embarrassment to all U.S. Pet Shop Boys fans. After being major hitmakers in the States during the late 1980s, the Boys have since then been reduced to a hitless "cult band" in America (aside from their tremendous ongoing success on the dance charts) while remaining major stars just about everywhere else—even becoming the best-selling duo in the history of the British charts. How did this terrible thing happen?

The answer is simple: Neil and Chris committed "career suicide" in the U.S. Now, don’t misunderstand me. I don’t think they did anything "wrong." I wouldn’t change a thing about them or the way they’ve handled their career. But, as fantastic as they are, they doomed themselves in America.

Well, that's America's loss. It didn’t happen all at once. It happened in stages, step-by-step. The U.S. mass market would have forgiven them one, two, or even three or four of the steps I’m about to describe. But, taken altogether, it spelled American career suicide.

Here they are—the ten things that the Pet Shop Boys did to commit career suicide in the United States:

1. "Opportunities (Let’s Make Lots of Money)"

I talk about this track at some length in the main portion of my website, including how it made much of the U.S. public extremely suspicious of the Boys almost from the get-go. In short, pop stars in the U.S. aren’t supposed to be so blatantly calculated and opportunistic. You say, "But Neil and Chris weren’t being ‘themselves’ in that song—they were merely playing roles." Yes, precisely. But the mass of the American record-buying public isn’t sophisticated enough to understand such concepts as a "lyrical persona." And while most of them do comprehend satire, they usually don’t perceive it when it’s handled with any degree of subtlety. "Weird Al" Yankovic they get. "Opportunities," many of them didn’t.

2. The Disco album

By the 1980s, "disco" had become a dirty word in America. Remember: "Disco sucks!" Even the people who were still brave enough to continue making disco music weren’t calling it "disco" anymore. It was "dance music." Same thing, just a different label. The Pet Shop Boys, contrarians ever, went ahead and titled their first remix album Disco. Strike two.

3. Neil yawning on the cover of Actually

Again, I discuss this at length in my entry for Actually and even devote a special page to the image's iconic status. To summarize, Americans don’t like it when their stars yawn. At least not unless they’re yawning at something that they themselves would think is boring or "uncool." They especially don’t like them yawning, it would appear, directly in their faces, perhaps even at them. Chris's odd expression—halfway between a vacant blank and a scowl—didn’t help matters, either. They’re even wearing tuxedos. Rock stars do not wear tuxedos, unless they’re getting an award from the President, and not always then. "Just what are these guys about, anyway?"

4. "Shopping" and "Rent"

If the cover of Actually weren't enough, it had these two songs on it. Even fewer people understood "Shopping" than understood "Opportunities." A lot of music critics cited it as evidence that the Boys were triviality incarnate. And U.S. rock stars are anything but trivial, right? Besides, real men don’t sing about shopping. Hell, they don’t even like to go shopping, much less sing about it. Of course, "Shopping" isn’t really about shopping, but that went right over most people’s heads. And then there's "Rent," sung from the perspective of either a kept woman (according to Neil) or a rent boy (according to widespread interpretation). Either way, it doesn't play well in Peoria.

5. "Always on My Mind" not appearing on Actually

The Boys committed a cardinal sin with this one. They released a hit single that wasn’t on the current album. And "Always on My Mind" was a big hit in the U.S. So people expected to find it on the most recent album, the one released just a couple months before. Wrong. Major source of frustration. Of course, the U.S. record company knew this and so rush-released a "special edition" of Actually that featured a second disc, the 12-inch single version of "Always on My Mind." That only exacerbated the situation. Now fans who had already bought Actually felt ripped off. The result: nobody was happy.

6. The "Domino Dancing" video

Now we’re really getting down to it—the final days of the Pet Shop Boys’ tenure as major U.S. hitmakers. The "Domino Dancing" video received a lot of airplay on MTV. But, despite its heterosexual veneer, the video’s blatant homoeroticism, in which those two shirtless young guys were even more obviously posited as sex-objects than the girl who was their ostensible object of desire, was just too much for the bulk of their American fan-base to handle. "Domino Dancing" became a U.S. Top 20 hit for the Boys, but it would prove to be their last.

7. The Introspective album

Neil himself has noted how Introspective was a major blow to their U.S. popularity. How so? I mean, it’s a drop-dead brilliant record, right? Yes, it certainly is. But that’s not the point. You see, when U.S. consumers go out to buy an album, they expect the songs on that album to be pretty much exactly the same as the hit versions of the songs playing on the radio. Now, "long versions" are OK—in fact, they’re excellent. U.S. consumers usually like it when the album version of the song is the "real" version, and the hit single is just an edited "short version." But that’s not what Introspective was all about. The versions of the two major U.S. hits on that album, "Always on My Mind" and "Domino Dancing," weren’t the "unedited" originals of the hit singles. Rather, they were drastically remixed. Thus, from the American consumer’s perspective, the singles were the "real" versions, and the album versions were exactly what they were: extended dance remixes. Since the greater mass of the U.S. record-buying public has little use for extended dance remixes, Introspective indeed proved highly detrimental to PSB’s popularity in America.

8. "Where the Streets Have No Name (I Can’t Take My Eyes Off You)"

By now our heroes were virtual has-beens on the U.S. singles chart. U2, on the other hand, were at their peak of popularity in America. And then along come Chris and Neil, who treat U2 with such apparent disrespect. (As The Edge was reported to have quipped, "What have I, what have I, what have I done to deserve this?") Yes, it’s a brilliant deconstruction and demythologization, but who the hell knows and cares about "deconstruction" and "demythologization," anyway? This only confirmed what most of the U.S. record-buying public had long suspected about the Boys: they were not to be trusted.

9. The "Performance" tour

Chris and Neil didn't go on a live concert tour in the U.S. until 1991—which itself probably did serious damage to their longterm American success. When they finally did tour in America with their "Performance" stage show, they wanted it to be anything but your typical rock concert. That is, they wanted to do more than stand up there and perform their songs, trying as best they can to replicate the sound of the records. Unfortunately, that’s precisely what most American concert-goers want and expect. First the delay, then the unexpected. Once again, the original thing turned out to be the wrong thing by U.S. standards.

10. Neil "comes out" publicly shortly after the release of Very

The final nail in the coffin, though the body was already pretty cold at this point. From Neil's personal perspective, it was undoubtedly the right thing to do—but not if you want to be a major star in America, at least until the further decline in homophobia. Unless your name is Elton (and, unfortunately, even he has now apparently worn out his welcome, not having had a Top 40 pop hit for several years), you cannot be a major ongoing mainstream star in the United States and be openly gay. You can be gay and in the closet. Or you can be open and achieve limited success as a flash in the pan or as a recurring bit-player. But not as a major ongoing mainstream star. At least not yet. Hopefully that will change, and soon. Meanwhile, Neil’s coming out has regrettably pegged the Pet Shop Boys as a "gay group" in the United States—more or less by definition a cult band.

And that’s how the Pet Shop Boys went in ten easy steps from being major hitmakers to a hitless cult band in the U.S.

The 10 PSB songs that they play on my local "80s oldies" radio station*

West End Girls
West End Girls
West End Girls
Opportunities (Let’s Make Lots of Money)
West End Girls
Always on My Mind
West End Girls
It’s a Sin
West End Girls
West End Girls

*Actually, this station has now switched from a strictly eighties format to a wider range of oldies embracing 1975-1999. This list, however, still accurately reflects their apparent Pet Shop Boys playlist. The only difference is that they play PSB even less often than before.

My 20 favorite PSB songs, period

*My estimation of this song has grown tremendously in the years since it was released. During one of my "Rating Project" polls back in 2004, I personally gave it a rating of only 6. But if I were to rate it today, I'd give it a 9 or maybe even a 10. It just goes to show how tastes and evaluations change with time.

The only 2 PSB songs I don't like

The Sound of the Atom Splitting
Call me old-fashioned, but is a melody too much to ask for in a song?
Love Is a Catastrophe
I liked it better when I thought it might be a parody of mediocre, self-pitying rock balladry. But it's not, which just leaves me disliking it. I have to concede, however, that the Boys' April 2002 live performance of this song on Later… with Jools Holland came across surprisingly well, almost redeeming it in my eyes. Almost.

And if by chance you're pissed off at me after reading this, please remember those two great aphoristic truths: (1) One man's trash is another man's treasure, and (2) There's no accounting for taste—mine included.

My 10 favorite PSB albums, in order*

*Not counting Discography or PopArt, the latter of which would have to be the album I'd take with me if I were allowed only one on a desert island. But I've always considered "greatest hits" and "best of" collections to be cop-outs in "best album" lists. So I've disqualified those two albums.

**Very isn't merely my favorite Pet Shop Boys album; it's one of my five favorite pop/rock albums of all time.

My 4 least favorite PSB albums

1. Disco 2

There are some fans for whom this isn't their least favorite PSB album. Just not very many of them.

2. Essential

This limited-edition release from 1998 isn't a bad album by any means, but it's pretty much only for completists like me. I think I've listened to it twice all the way through since I bought it.

3. Disco 4

Taken strictly on its own merits, it's not a bad album at all. In fact, I quite like it. But, with all those tracks by other artists simply remixed or "re-produced" by Chris and Neil (with their occasional support vocals added), is it really a "Pet Shop Boys album"? The very fact that you can ask such a question without sounding like an idiot explains its appearance in this list.

4. Disco

In my opinion it's much better than Disco 2, and it's more fully a "PSB album" than Disco 4, but remix albums by their very nature are largely redundant affairs. And since "In the Night" and "Paninaro" were later made widely available on Alternative, this album is rendered more or less "nonessential."

My 5 favorite PSB album covers

1. Actually

For the reasons that I cover quite nicely in my main entry for the album, if I do say so myself.

2. Very

Incredibly innovative, not to mention eye-catching. It also made me nostalgic for my childhood Lego™ set. It's a pity—understandable, but a pity nonetheless—that the original design is no longer available in new copies of the album, having been replaced by a mere photo of the original packaing.

3. Please

A marvelous study in the effectiveness of minimalism.

4. Alternative

I particularly like the lenticular photo of the special edition, which allowed it (appropriately enough) to "alternate" between Chris and Neil.

5. Release

A high-detail botanical print—very classy. Or is it just my taste? A rather tongue-in-cheek 1994 book titled The Unofficial Gay Manual by Kevin Dilallo and Jack Krumholtz states that hanging botanical prints—"not expensive but look it"—on the living room wall is typical of gay households. Hmmm—

My 10 favorite PSB remixes (not counting hit single and original album versions)

I Wouldn’t Normally Do This Kind of Thing (Voxigen Mix by Gary Jones and Chris Le Blanc)
How Can You Expect to Be Taken Seriously? (Extended Mix by Brothers in Rhythm)
Did You See Me Coming? (Possibly More Mix by Pet Shop Boys)
Jealousy (Extended Mix by David Jacob)*
A Red Letter Day (Trouser Autoerotic Decapitation Mix by Trouser Enthusiasts)**
What Have I Done to Deserve This? (Disco Mix by Shep Pettibone)
It’s a Sin (Disco Mix by Stephen Hague and Pet Shop Boys)
It’s Alright (Extended Version by Trevor Horn)
New York City Boy (The Almighty Definitive Mix by Martin Norris and Jon Dixon)
Rent (Extended Mix by François Kevorkian)

*Boosted a notch for quoting Othello.
**Boosted two notches by virtue of the title of the mix.

My 10 favorite PSB b-sides

*Docked a couple notches because Neil's vocal is buried so deep in the mix.

My 5 favorite non-originals covered by PSB

My 5 favorite PSB videos

1. I Wouldn't Normally Do This Kind of Thing

Astounding techno-psychedelia with a two-pronged theme: (1) What if the sixties had had access to nineties technology, with Tennant-Lowe in the roles of Lennon-McCartney? – and (2) What are some things that Chris and Neil wouldn't normally do? The end result is one of the most imaginative and visually exciting music videos made by any artist.

2. How Can You Expect to Be Taken Seriously?

Neil and Chris parody major rock stars. Neil's takeoff on Springsteen, in particular, is delightful.

3. It's a Sin

I love the personifications of the Seven Deadly Sins.

4. Liberation

Remarkable computer-generated imagery that beautifully complements the song. I never tire of watching it. In fact, I would've ranked it even higher if only there had been a little more of the Boys in it.

5. DJ Culture

Striking, often gorgeous imagery—alternately amusing and profound—synched to the text to provide a very literal symbolic reading to a lyrically challenging piece. Seeing Neil in the role of Oscar Wilde on trial never fails to move me. Possibly the PSB video that most enhances its song.

My 5 least favorite PSB videos

1. Home and Dry

OK, so it's art. Doesn't mean I have to like it. If I wanted to watch rodents scurrying about, I'd watch a nature documentary—except every nature documentary I've ever seen is more interesting than this.

2. Rent

Love the song, but the video bores me to tears. Sorry.

3. Paninaro

I appreciate the do-it-yourself aesthetic, I really do. But just because Neil and Chris are brilliant songwriters and recording artists doesn't make them brilliant video directors and filmographers. And they know it, too, which is why they made only one video like this. I appreciate that even more.

4. I Get Along

The Bruce Weber schtick—more or less random videography focusing on beautiful young people who look like they've just stepped out of an Abercrombie & Fitch catalog—was marvelous more than a decade before for "Being Boring," and still quite nice several years later for "Se A Vida É." But by this time it was starting to get old. Or maybe it's just me—getting old, that is. Regardless, I tend to hit the Skip button on my remote.

5. I'm with Stupid

Terrific song, and I'm quite fond of Little Britain. So how come I don't like what David Walliams and Matt Lucas are doing in this video? I'm sure it was meant to be quite funny but, personally, I've never found it particularly amusing. It's not actually bad—just disappointing. The fact that the Pet Shop Boys themselves make only a brief concluding cameo appearance in their own music video hardly helps matters. I just can't help but feel that it could have been so much better.

5 guest appearances by Neil and/or Chris in other artists' music videos

1. "Nothing Has Been Proved" - Dusty Springfield

Chris and Neil, who wrote and produced this latter-day hit for Dusty, appear as reporters in the video.

2. "Getting Away with It" - Electronic

Neil, who co-wrote the song with Sumner and Marr, appears in his role of backup singer, though at times he's more like a co-lead, sharing vocal duties with Sumner.

3. "Disappointed" - Electronic

This time Neil takes front and center in the role of lead singer. (From this perspective it may not be altogether appropriate to call this a mere "guest appearance.")

4. "Hallo Spaceboy" - David Bowie

The Boys appear intermittently in performance scenes that alternate with those featuring Bowie himself. While Chris plays keyboard, Neil sings backup—once again sometimes more like a co-lead.

5. "Do the Right Thing" - Ian Wright

Chris appears briefly in the video for this song, which he co-wrote and produced for U.K. soccer star Ian Wright. I've never seen this video myself, but I'm told that in it Chris wears a rather unusual hat. Of course, that's not exactly out of character for him.

The 10 biggest PSB hits on the U.S. Billboard "Hot 100" singles chart*

1. West End Girls (#1)
2. What Have I Done to Deserve This? (#2)
3. Always on My Mind (#4)
4. It's a Sin (#9)
5. Opportunities (Let's Make Lots of Money) (#10)
6. Domino Dancing (#18)
7-8. (tie) Love Comes Quickly (#62)
7-8. (tie) So Hard (#62)
9. Suburbia (#70)
10. Where the Streets Have No Name (I Can't Take My Eyes Off You) (#72)

*"New York City Boy," "I Don't Know What You Want But I Can't Give It Any More," and "Break 4 Love" all would have made this list if it were based solely on sales since those three singles reached #53, #66, and #51, respectively, on the Sales chart. But, unlike the singles that are listed here, they didn't make it onto the "Hot 100" because of an almost total lack of radio airplay.

Would you care to see the Boys' complete U.K. and U.S. pop singles chart history?

The 10 biggest PSB hits on the U.S. Billboard dance charts

West End Girls (#1 Club Play, #3 12"/Maxi Sales)
New York City Boy (#1 Club Play, #4 12"/Maxi Sales)
Before (#1 Club Play, #7 12"/Maxi Sales)
To Step Aside (#1 Club Play, #8 12"/Maxi Sales)
What Have I Done to Deserve This? (#1 Club Play)
Go West (#1 Club Play)
Can You Forgive Her? (#1 Club Play)
Break 4 Love (#1 Club Play, #6 12"/Maxi Sales)
I Don't Know What You Want But I Can't Give It Any More (#2 Club Play, #10 12"/Maxi Sales)
I Wouldn't Normally Do This Kind of Thing (#2 Club Play)

The status of PSB in Joel Whitburn's Hot Dance/Disco 1974-2003

Joel Whitburn's Hot Dance/Disco 1974-2003 (published in January 2004 and available from Record Research), lists the performance of hits on the U.S. dance charts as reported by Billboard magazine. I'm pleased to report that the Pet Shop Boys are cited as the fourth most successful artist in the history of the U.S. dance charts, behind only Madonna (#1), Janet Jackson (#2), and Donna Summer (#3). (In case you're wondering how other select artists fared, Prince is ranked #5, Michael Jackson is #6, Whitney Houston is #8, Depeche Mode is #10, New Order is #13, Erasure is #17, and George Michael is #25.)

According to this fascinating book, PSB can also claim these further distinctions:

the most successful male artists on the U.S. dance charts (though Prince is the most successful male solo artist)
the most successful duo or group
the most successful non-Americans
the eighth most successful artist of the 1980s
the sixth most successful of the 1990s
#3 in the number of dance hits (28), exceeded only by Madonna and Janet Jackson*
#5 in the number of Number One dance hits (8), surpassed by Madonna, Janet Jackson, Donna Summer, and Whitney Houston**

*In the years since the publication of Joel Whitburn's Hot Dance/Disco 1974-2003, the Pet Shop Boys have earned five additional dance hits, raising their total to 33. But they're still at #3 behind Madonna and Janet. For more detailed information about the Boys' performance on the U.S. dance charts, please visit my page devoted to that topic.

**I must regretfully note, however, that in the years since the book's publication, the Pet Shop Boys have fallen to a tie for sixth place in the number of Number One dance hits. Depeche Mode has garnered enough Number Ones to put them in a tie with the Pet Shop Boys. Meanwhile, the Boys' former #5 spot has been usurped by the phenomenal Kristine W, who by early 2009 had racked up 12 dance Number Ones. (As of 2003 she'd only had six.) In fact, it puts her in a tie with Whitney Houston for the #4 position. Given the current state of Whitney's career, however, I suspect it won't be long before Kristine W can claim the #4 post all by herself. Donna Summer had been tied with Whitney but, unexpectedly, the legendary Queen of Disco surged forward with several brand new dance Number Ones in late 2008 and early 2009.

The 10 most successful PSB albums on the U.S. Billboard charts

I'm ranking the albums solely according to their peak positions, regardless of the amount of time they spent on the chart. So this should not be interpreted as a ranking of actual sales.

Please (#7 peak, charted for 31 weeks)
Very (#20, 17 weeks)
Actually (#25, 45 weeks)
Yes (#32, 2 weeks)
Introspective (#34, 22 weeks)
Bilingual (#39, 6 weeks)
Behaviour (#45, 25 weeks)
Release (#73, 2 weeks)
Disco 2 (#75, 3 weeks)
Nightlife (#84, 3 weeks)

PSB U.S. and U.K. gold and platinum records

In the United States, gold albums () are awarded by the RIAA (Record Industry Association of America) for sales of 500,000 units and platinum albums () for sales of one million units. In the United Kingdom, gold albums are awarded by the BPI (British Phonographic Industry, Ltd.) for sales of 100,000 units and platinum albums for sales of 300,000 units. Double-platinum () and triple-platinum () awards are simply for the respective multiples of those sales figures.

Album	U.S. Award	U.K. Award
Please
Disco
Actually
Introspective
Behaviour
Discography
Very
Bilingual
Nightlife
PopArt

No PSB singles have received gold or platinum awards in the U.S. In the U.K., however, the following singles have won gold awards, which for U.K. singles signified sales of at least 500,000 units. (A little later, in 1989, the rules were changed, lowering that figure to 400,000.)

Single	U.K. Award
"West End Girls"
"Always on My Mind"

The U.S. sales figures for PSB albums

Beginning in 1991, Nielsen Media Research began implementing the computerized SoundScan system to track music sales. On two separate occasions, Keith Caulfield of "Ask Billboard" (at billboard.com) has provided the official SoundScan tallies for U.S. sales of the Pet Shop Boys albums released since 1991. These figures are accurate as of October 2004 and May 2006 (except for those for Fundamental and PopArt, which are from October 2006). I've also included in the tallies the minimum U.S. sales figures for the pre-1991 albums based upon RIAA gold- and platinum-record awards (as described above). Pre-1991 albums are listed in chronological order; post-1991 albums are listed in descending order according to sales figures, which are rounded to the nearest thousand:

Pre- 1991	Please	More than 1,000,000 units sold¹
	Disco	Less than 500,000²
	Actually	More than 500,000³
	Introspective	More than 500,000³
	Behaviour	Less than 500,000²
Post- 1991		As of Oct '04	As of May '06
	Discography	691,000	719,000
	Very⁴	416,000	418,000
	Bilingual	149,000	149,000
	Nightlife	139,000	139,000
	Disco 2	130,000	131,000
	Release	71,000	73,000
	Alternative	67,000	68,000
	Disco 3	38,000	42,000
	Essential	39,000	39,000
	Fundamental	--	29,000⁵
	PopArt	--	3,000⁵

¹Since the RIAA has awarded Please a platinum album, it must have sold at least one million units in the U.S. Since it has not, however, received a double-platinum award, it must not yet have sold at least two million.

²Since the RIAA has awarded Actually and Introspective gold albums, they must have sold at least a half-million units each in the U.S. But since they haven't been awarded platinum albums, they must not yet have sold at least a million.

³Since the RIAA has not awarded Disco and Behaviour gold albums, they must not yet have sold at least a million units.

⁴The RIAA has awarded Very a gold album because at least a half-million copies have been shipped to stores in the U.S., although the SoundScan figures for actual sales are somewhat less.

⁵As of mid-October 2006 in the case of Fundamental and late October 2006 in the case of PopArt.

The 10 longest PSB song (or track) titles

This ranking depends on definitions. I'm counting the number of individual characters in the titles, including subtitles, punctuation marks, and spaces. If you count the titles of individual songs only, then the two songs in the medley at #1 would have to be counted separately, and #2 thus becomes the "winner." In this case, however, I'm counting the length of the title of the track. By that criterion, #1 is the clear winner.

  1. Where the Streets Have No Name (I Can't Take My Eyes Off You) - 61 characters
  2. I Don't Know What You Want But I Can't Give It Any More - 55
  3. It's Just My Little Tribute to Caligula, Darling - 48
4-5. (tie) This Must Be the Place I Waited Years to Leave - 46
4-5. (tie) You Only Tell Me You Love Me When You're Drunk - 46
6-7. (tie) How Can You Expect to Be Taken Seriously? - 41
6-7. (tie) I Wouldn't Normally Do This Kind of Thing - 41
8-9. (tie) The Boy Who Couldn't Keep His Clothes On - 40
8-9. (tie) Opportunities (Let's Make Lots of Money) - 40
10. Try It (I'm in Love with a Married Man) - 39

The 10 longest PSB album tracks (not counting bootlegs, "special editions," or Disco albums)

The whole matter of track length is imprecise. Which figure do you use? The "official" figure often marked on album covers or discs? Sometimes it's incorrect. The figure that appears on the digital readout of your CD player or computer? Often it varies from one device to another. (Yes, I've tried it!) So what figures do I use here? Simple. I've checked various sources—album covers, CD readouts, online references—and then picked the figure that appears most often for each track. Majority rules, if not always definitively!

9:24 - It's Alright (on Introspective)
9:05 - Always on My Mind/In My House (on Introspective)
9:00 - Drama in the Harbour (on The Battleship Potemkin)
8:10 - Left to My Own Devices (on Introspective)
7:41 - Domino Dancing (on Introspective)
7:23 - I'm Not Scared (on Introspective)
7:23 - After All (on The Battleship Potemkin)
6:50 - Odessa (on The Battleship Potemkin)
6:48 - Being Boring (on Behaviour)
6:34 - Some Speculation (on Alternative)

The 10 (actually 12) longest commercially released "official" PSB remixes

12:33 - Liberation (E-Smoove Mix)
11:57 - Paninaro '95 (Angel Moraes Girls Boys in Dub)
11:47 - Se A Vida É (Deep Dish Dub)
11:29 - Left to My Own Devices (Disco Mix)
11:25 - I Don't Know What You Want But I Can't Give It Any More (Morales Club Mix)
10:55 - New York City Boy (Thunderpuss 2000 Club Mix)
10:54 - New York City Boy (Morales Club Mix)
10:46 - Break 4 Love (Friburn & Urik Tribal Mix)
10:41 - Somewhere (Trouser Enthusiasts Mix)
Three-way tie:

10:40 - Being Boring (Extended Mix)
10:40 - I Don't Know What You Want But I Can't Give It Any More (The Young Collective Remix)
10:40 - Megamix (1991 Swedish Promo Extended Mix)

The 10 shortest PSB tracks

Commercially available tracks only, not counting bootlegs or some of Disco 2's brief "megamix-style" excerpts of full-length mixes. Also, I don't count official PSB ringtones here.

0:14 - Generic Jingle
0:32 - Opportunities (Reprise)
0:52 - Our Daily Bread
1:04 - Transfer
1:14 - Postscript*
1:17 - God Willing
1:32 - Stormy Meetings
1:41 - Where the Streets Have No Name (I Can't Take My Eyes Off You) (Eclipse Mix)
1:50 - Full Steam Ahead
2:04 - Always on My Mind (7" dub mix)

*I prefer to count and time "Postscript" as a separate track in spite of the fact that on the Very CD it actually "tracks" as part of "Go West."

14 (and maybe 15) PSB songs with lyrics that don't contain the title

This list doesn't include instrumentals ("Casting a Shadow,," "KDX 125," "The Living Daylights," and "The Noise"), which of course by their very nature don't have lyrics and therefore can't include the title.

1. Between Two Islands

2. The Calm Before the Storm

3. Fugitive

4. K-hole

5. The Night I Fell in Love

6. Postscript

7. Transfer

8. Legacy

9. Love etc.

The "etc." occurs nowhere in the lyrics.

10. All or Nothing

Except for snippets of Neil singing "And there she goes" in the background, the lyrics of this song are almost entirely in Japanese, and the few smatterings of English don't include the title. Of course, it's distinctly possible (even likely) that a Japanese translation of the words "all or nothing" appears in the lyrics, but there's no doubt that the English title itself never appears.

11. Paninaro '95

This may be trifling on my part, but although the word "paninaro" occurs prominently in this track, the number 95 never appears in the lyrics. Nor would you expect it to.

12. Vampires

Although the word "vampire" (singular) is used repeatedly in the lyrics, "vampires" (plural) appears only in the title.

13. Je T'aime…Moi Non Plus

True, it wasn't written by Neil and Chris, but they did record it, and in a rendition that doesn't include the French title (whereas the original did), so it merits inclusion here. It does, however, include the Boys' English translation of the title: "I love you… but not more than me."

14. Where the Streets Have No Name (I Can't Take My Eyes Off You)

Not only does Neil never actually sing the title of the "I Can't Take My Eyes Off You" portion of this track, but even in the original version Frankie Valli sings "Can't take my eyes off of you" rather than the title, "I Can't Take My Eyes Off You."

And perhaps—

15. I Don't Know What You Want But I Can't Give It Any More

I know the "official" printed lyrics include the repeated title verbatim in the chorus. But, at least to my ears, I never once hear Neil singing the pronoun "I" before "don't know what you want but I can't give it any more." Maybe he "clips" it so much that it's barely noticeable.

By the way, I don't include "Saturday Night Forever" in this list because, although the words "Saturday night" and "forever" are separated by punctuation and appear on separate lines in the printed lyrics, they do appear back-to-back and are sung in that sequence: "(Saturday night, Saturday night) forever and ever."

10 (or 11) songs on which Chris sings (or "speaks") lead

I'm not counting songs in which Chris's voice can be clearly heard but in which he takes a decidedly secondary role, such as the original 7" version of "I Want a Dog," in which he recites a list of dog breeds during the instrumental break. In such cases Neil is nevertheless the lead singer. No, I'm focusing here on songs in which Chris's voice is either dominant or at least equal to Neil's. There aren't many of them—

1. Paninaro/Paninaro '95

Neil sings the repeated "Paninaro—oh, oh, oh" chorus, but Chris speaks what amounts to the verses and bridge.

2. One of the Crowd

This time Neil sings the bridge (nothing more than the title), but Chris sing-speaks the verses and chorus in a voice that's heavily distorted, almost to the point of unintelligibility.

3. We All Feel Better in the Dark

The Neil-chorus, Chris-verses pattern again, but at least this time Chris's voice isn't electronically distorted—only somewhat buried in the mix.

4. Music for Boys

Essentially an instrumental, though Chris's distorted voice intones the title at strategic points. That may be Neil singing the repeated "oh, yeah" line, sped up to sound like one of David Seville's chipmunks.

5. Postscript

For the first time in recorded history, Chris actually sings in his natural voice, though multi-tracked to the point that, when I first heard this, I thought it was the same male chorus that handled the background vocals on the preceding song, "Go West."

6. Euroboy

Chris and Neil pretty much share the lead vocal in this track, with Chris's voice disguised through the use of a Vocoder.

7. Somewhere (Extended Mix)

Although Chris's voice is heard little if any in most mixes of this PSB remake, he's quite prominent in the Extended Mix, in which he recites some of the lyrics of another song from West Side Story, "One Hand, One Heart"—effectively taking the lead, however briefly, during that part of the track.

8. Lies

Chris's second full-fledged singing vocal, and not so heavily multi-tracked this time around.

9. Time on My Hands

Chris does the recurring "count up" throughout the song, and although Neil repeatedly sings a couple of lines of more substantive lyrics, his voice is so profoundly distorted that he's essentially unintelligible. It boils down to a co-lead vocal between the two of them.

10. This Used to Be the Future

In this song Neil, Chris, and guest Phil Oakey of The Human League trade off lead vocals. It qualifies as Chris's third recorded instance of outright, traditional singing as opposed to "speaking" or even "speak-singing."

And possibly—

11. Je T'Aime…Moi Non Plus

Chris has stated that the "male part" in this duet with Sam Taylor-Wood is performed by a Macintosh computer, but I'd be surprised if Chris's own voice didn't play at least some part in the proceedings.

Other songs in which Chris's voice can be heard

These are the songs not covered in the preceding list in which Chris's voice can also be heard—often (though certainly not always) "vocoderized" or otherwise distorted:

All Over the World
Building a Wall
Did You See Me Coming? (Pet Shop Boys Possibly More Mix; Chris says the "possibly more")
Happiness Is an Option
Home and Dry
How Can You Expect to Be Taken Seriously?
Go West (but only in some unreleased early mixes)
I Get Excited (You Get Excited Too)
I Made My Excuses and Left
I Want a Dog (7" version)
It Doesn't Often Snow at Christmas (saying "Happy New Year" at the end)
It's Alright
Metamorphosis
So Long, Farewell
This Must Be the Place I Waited Years to Leave
We Came from Outer Space (several lines quietly spoken in the mix)
We're the Pet Shop Boys
Where the Streets Have No Name (I Can't Take My Eyes Off You)

And maybe (but on account of distortion, "vocoderization," or other factors it's difficult to tell for sure without confirmation):

Bet She's Not Your Girlfriend ("Girlfriend, oh, oh, girlfriend")
Nyet ("Nyet!" to Neil's "Da!"?)
Miracles ("Dark skies, dark skies…"?)
Miserablism ("That's what you want, that's what you get")
Radiophonic (the spoken title that recurs throughout)

One of my site visitors has also reminded me that you can very briefly and faintly hear Chris sing-speaking along with Neil's main vocal at one point in the "Heart" video. (The same is also true of Ian McKellen's vampire and the actress who plays Neil's bride.)

I should note that Chris has asserted that his voice is not in the chanting chorus of "Love etc." He and Neil concede that it was in there at one time, but they "took it out."

13 (or 14) studio tracks on which Neil plays the guitar

Neil has played the guitar live in concert on such songs as "Suburbia," "Rent," "Se A Vida É," and "Was It Worth It?" But there's only a handful of cases in which it's a documented fact—or at least, from the evidence, a very strong likelihood—that he's playing guitar on studio tracks. That doesn't mean that these are the only tracks on which he plays guitar; nor does it necessarily mean that there's not another guitarist on some of these tracks as well. (Note: Guitar samples played on a keyboard don't count.)

1. Domino Dancing
2. It Must Be Obvious
3. How Can You Expect to Be Taken Seriously?
4. The End of the World
5. The Truck Driver and His Mate
6. Hit and Miss
7. You Only Tell Me You Love Me When You're Drunk
8. Boy Strange
9. Out of My System
10. Home and Dry
11. I Get Along
12. Birthday Boy
13. Luna Park

And if you stretch it a bit—

14. I Want a Lover

Neil plays bass guitar on this last track. (Well, it's a guitar, isn't it?)

It's very likely that Neil also plays guitar on some other tracks on Release aside from the three listed above (#10-12); it's just that those are the only three so far for which we have definite confirmation of Neil's guitar work.

A partial list of synths/samplers used by the Pet Shop Boys

I've managed to piece together the following incomplete list of synthesizers (both analog and digital, including samplers) used by the Boys. If you know of additional synths/samplers that they've definitely used, please let me know via email, including the source of your information (magazine article, personal observation, etc.).

Akai S1000 Sampler
Akai S1000HD Sampler
Akai S3200
Akai S900
Alesis A6 Andromeda
ARP 2600
Emagic Logic Audio Sequencer
E-Mu Emulator
E-Mu Emulator II
E-Mu Emulator II+
E-Mu Drumulator
E-Mu Morpheus
E-Mu Orbit
E-Mu Proformance Plus
E-Mu Planet Phat
E-Mu Proteus 1
Fairlight CMI Series II
Fairlight CMI Series III
Korg MicroKorg
Korg M1
Korg M1r
Korg Prophecy
Korg Triton
Korg Triton Extreme
Kurzweil K2000/K2500
Kurzweil PC-88
LinPlug RM IV drum machine
Moog Voyager
Moog*
New England Digital Synclavier
Nord Electro
Nord Electro 2
Nord Lead 2
Nord Lead 3
Nord Modular G2
Oberheim DMX drum machine
Oberheim Matrix 1000
Oberheim Matrix-12
Oberheim OB8
Oberheim SEM

Oberheim Xpander
PPG Modular Synthesizer 300
PPG Wave 2.2
PPG Wave 2.3
Roland 700 Series
Roland PC-200 MKII
Roland A-50
Roland AlphaJuno 1
Roland CR78
Roland D-50
Roland JD-800
Roland JP-8000
Roland Juno-106
Roland Juno-60
Roland Jupiter-8
Roland JV1080
Roland JV2080
Roland JX-10
Roland MKS50
Roland MKS80 "Super Jupiter"
Roland P300
Roland R-70
Roland S770
Roland SC88
Roland SPD-8 Triggers
Roland TB-303 Bassline
Roland TR-808 drum machine
Roland TR-909 drum machine
Roland U110
Roland VG8 guitar processor
Sequential Circuits Prophet 5
Studio Electronics Midimoog
Waldorf MicroWave
Waldorf MicroWave XT
Waldorf Wave
Yamaha DX1
Yamaha DX7
Yamaha TG33**
Yamaha TG500
Yamaha TX81Z

I'm indebted to Gareth Edwards for contributing a good deal of information to my list above, for which I'm very grateful.

As for other keyboards, Chris has been known to play acoustic piano and a Fender Rhodes electric piano. Bits of organ can also be heard in several PSB tracks (such as "Go West," "Shameless," and "Decadence"), but in each case it's uncertain whether it's an actual organ or a synth or sampler mimicking the sound of an organ.

*In addition to the aforementioned Moog Voyager, they've certainly used other, older Moog models as well as additional analog synthesizers, particularly while recording Behaviour and its associated b-sides. But I'm uncertain at this time regarding the exact models. However, the Moog Modular, of which Behaviour producer Harold Faltermeyer is especially fond, seems a likely candidate.

**In response to a September 2003 question on the official PSB website, Chris cited the "Roland TG33" as a common source for string synth sounds on PSB recordings. Yet I haven't been able to find any other references online to a "TG33" synth by Roland. There is, however, a Yamaha TG33. Chris may simply have confused the synth manufacturers.

The key signatures of selected PSB songs

This is a somewhat arcane little list—some might even call it neurotic—but I'm rather proud of it. I've figured out (or, in a few cases, some of my online correspondents have figured out for me) the key signatures of a number of Pet Shop Boys songs. I certainly don't claim certainty, however, so if you know for sure that I'm wrong about any of these, or if you know the key signatures of any PSB songs that are missing here, .

Always on My Mind - G major
Being Boring - E major (chorus) and F minor (verses)
Can You Forgive Her? - B minor
Casanova in Hell - A major
Closer to Heaven - C minor
Delusions of Grandeur - G minor (verses) and G major (chorus)
A Different Point of View - C major
Discoteca - C minor
DJ Culture - C minor, with an E minor bridge
Do I Have To? - C minor
Domino Dancing - A minor
Dreaming of the Queen - B minor
Electricity - E major
The End of the World - G major
Flamboyant - B major
Footsteps - E major
For Your Own Good - E minor
Forever in Love - C minor
Go West - C major, modulating near the end to D major
Happiness Is an Option - C minor
Heart - A minor
Here - C major
Home and Dry - A major
How Can You Expect to Be Taken Seriously? - G minor
I Don't Know What You Want But I Can't Give It Any More - F minor
I Get Along - G major
I Get Excited - A minor
I Want a Dog - A minor
I Want a Lover - A minor
I Wouldn't Normally Do This Kind of Thing - D major
If Looks Could Kill - C minor
I'm Not Scared - C minor
In Denial - C major, with a C major bridge
In the Night - C minor
It Always Comes as a Surprise - A major
It Couldn't Happen Here - C major
It Doesn't Often Snow at Christmas - G major
It's a Sin - C minor
Jealousy - C major
King's Cross - F minor
Later Tonight - E minor
Left to My Own Devices - A minor
Liberation - B major (verses) and D major (chorus)
London - C major
Losing My Mind - E major (PSB version); G major (Liza Minnelli's version)
Love Comes Quickly - B minor
Love Is a Catastrophe - A minor
A Man Could Get Arrested - C minor
Miracles - D minor, but ending on a D major chord
Music for Boys - C major
Nervously - C major
New York City Boy - D minor
Numb - C minor
The Night I Fell in Love - E major
One and One Make Five - mainly D minor, with an F major bridge
One in a Million - A major, modulating near the end to B major
One of the Crowd - A minor
The Only One - F major
Only the Wind - A minor
Opportunities (Let's Make Lots of Money) - C minor, modulating for the final chorus to C minor
Paninaro - C minor
Positive Role Model - C minor
Radiophonic - A minor
A Red Letter Day - F major
Rent - A minor
Se A Vida É - A major
Sexy Northerner - E minor
Shameless - A minor (verses) and A major (chorus)
Shopping - A minor
Single - D major (verses and bridge) and C major (chorus)
So Hard - A minor (verses) and C major (chorus)
Somebody Else's Business - C minor
Suburbia - C major
The Survivors - F major
That's My Impression - C minor
The Theatre - E minor (chorus) and E major (verses)
This Must Be the Place I Waited Years to Leave - B minor
Time on My Hands - A minor
To Face the Truth - A major
To Speak Is a Sin - A minor
To Step Aside - C minor
Tonight Is Forever - C minor
The Truck Driver and His Mate - C major, modulating at times to D major
Two Divided by Zero - E minor
Vampires - F minor
Violence - A minor
Was It Worth It? - C minor, modulating at the end to E major
West End Girls - E minor
What Have I Done to Deserve This? - C major
Why Don't We Live Together? - C minor
Yesterday, When I Was Mad - C minor (verses) and C major (chorus); it has been suggested that this song is actually in the F Dorian modal key, which has the same notes as C minor but which resolves on F, although it actually ends on a B major chord; this serves to underscore the harmonic complexity of this track
You Choose - A minor
You Only Tell Me You Love Me When You're Drunk - C major
Young Offender - D major
Your Funny Uncle - A major

It would appear that Chris and Neil have a particular fondness for the keys of A minor, C minor, and C major.

"Documented" officially unreleased songs written by the Pet Shop Boys

The following titles have been mentioned in various places (most notably at the official PSB website and in their fanclub publication Literally, the two main sources of the information that follows) as songs that Chris and Neil have written but haven't yet completed and/or formally released. In some cases they're early titles for songs eventually released under a different title. I don't, however, include songs written by others that the Boys have recorded in unreleased cover versions, such as "Homosexuality" and "So Long, Farewell."

If I've heard the song and am familiar enough with it to offer detailed commentary, a link is provided to its entry in the "Unreleased Tracks" section of this website. Otherwise, I offer just a few lines of what little I know about it from what I have read or have learned from others.

A Roma

The early instrumental demo for "I'm Not Scared." I can't help but wonder whether the title, Italian for "In Rome," was meant as an malodorous pun.
Backburner

The name of this unreleased track strikes me as a "placeholder" (because this recording is, for the time being, on the "backburner," awaiting further development?) until Chris and Neil can come up with something permanent. In all likelihood it doesn't yet have lyrics.

Baroq

Beautiful Beast

A "quite funny" song (according to Neil) that hasn't yet been completed.

Before My Time

Almost nothing is known about this track aside from the fact that Neil and Chris wrote it in April 1998 and that, in Neil's words, it "was meant to sound like Air" (a somewhat arty French synth duo). A supposed demo instrumental version has been floating around on the Internet for years, but from all indications that track is not by the Pet Shop Boys.

Big Piano

Bounce
Bubadubadubadum (aka "All My Wasted Time")
Buggered If I Know

Little is known about this track except that it apparently stems from the Nightlife period and, according to Neil, "starts off with something like Elgar and was intended by Chris to sound like Divine."

Can I Be the One?

This track eventually became "Love Life.

Casanova in Love

Virtually nothing is known about this reported track, although it seems extremely likely that it's an early version of the song that became "Casanova in Hell."

China

The Boys wrote this in mid-April 2006. No other information is available at this time aside from the fact that, perhaps aptly inspired, they immediately afterward had a Chinese dinner with Gary Barlow.

The Day Before Tomorrow

Written during the Fundamental sessions, this track underwent a good deal of evolution and a number of title changes (including "Introduction") before Neil and Chris eventually settled on "God Willing."

Dead of Night

This has sometimes been cited as an unreleased Tennant-Lowe song, but it's probably not really "unreleased" at all. Rather, it's almost certainly an early "demo name" for what became "Jealousy" ("At dead of night, when strangers roam….").

Diddly Squat

This song evolved into "All or Nothing."

Dirty Tricks

Written while visiting Naples in early March 2005.

Every Little Moment

An alternate title sometimes cited for a song probably more accurately titled "For Every Moment."

Fat Northern Bastards

Chris proposed recording this humorous song with UK TV/radio/recording personalities Ant and Dec. A very brief excerpt can be heard on the About Pet Shop Boys double-disc set released to their fan club members in the late 1990s. Considering the title, however, I wouldn't be surprised if it's never officially released.

For Every Moment

Originally written in 2003 and further developed in early 2005, this track exists in at least three different versions. Chris and Neil—in their own words, "never happy with it"—have passed it on to Alcazar. Although it doesn't appear on the Swedish group's 2009 album Disco Defenders (which does include another previously unreleased PSB-authored track, "Baby"), it will very likely appear on some subsequent Alcazar release. (Incidentally, the title has alternately been reported as "Every Little Moment.")

Franglais

This song was reportedly "written around the time [the Boys] were still trying to rip-off the group Air's sound."

Get On It

Recorded in April 1995 during the Bilingual sessions, but left unfinished. The Boys were considering it as a track for Ian Wright. "It's really good, that one," noted Chris.

Give Me the Moonlight

Reportedly an early title for the song that ultimately evolved into "Delusions of Grandeur," inspired by the fact that the chord progression is based on Beethoven's Moonlight Sonata.

Hey Tito

Virtually no information has been released about this track aside from its simple yet cryptic title.

Home

The original title of the song that appeared on the album Release as "Here." It was written for their musical Closer to Heaven but dropped. "Home" actually seems like a better title than "Here," but Neil and Chris probably made the change on account of the inclusion of the song "Home and Dry" on Release as well.

Hope

Probably written solely by Chris, this was to have been another recording with Ian Wright, a follow-up to "Do the Right Thing." But it was never completed.

How Lucky Am I?
Reportedly from the Bilingual sessions.
I Can Always Rely on You to Let Me Down

The Boys started work on this song in the mid- or late eighties, around the same time as "It's a Sin," but apparently haven't yet finished it. But they like it well enough (it's "a funny, catchy one") that they haven't given up on the prospect of finalizing and recording it.

I Need You

I'm not even 100% sure that this is the actual title, but a brief snippet of its demo played during a PSB radio documentary in the late 1990s. The only words were Neil singing "I need you—ah, ah, ah, ah." He described it as "very eighties-sounding," to which Chris rejoined, "I always liked that." He then added, "I don't think we're eighties enough!"

In the Club or in the Queue

Indie

An early demo of "Up Against It." This was almost certainly never seriously considered as the final title and was probably only used by the Boys to refer to the instrumental track before Neil had written lyrics for it.

It's Not a Crime

An early song that was on the demo tape that Neil gave to Bobby O when they first met in 1983. Little else is known about it, although of course the title phrase would crop up again in "Left to My Own Devices," making one wonder about other possible connections between the two songs. Could "Devices" have evolved—or at least borrowed some lyrics—from "It's Not a Crime"?

It's Up to You

A primarily instrumental track from the recording sessions for Very that the Boys by their own admission "struggled with." They overcame their difficulties by merging it with another, much older unfinished song to turn it into "One in a Million."

I've Got Plans Involving You

In Chris Heath's book Pet Shop Boys, Literally, he briefly quotes Neil (on page 116 of at least some editions) about this unreleased song: "Sometimes the inspiration behind a song is something funny, though often the song itself isn't remotely funny.… When I was at Smash Hits, the one everyone liked like that was one called 'I've Got Plans Involving You.'" So obviously this song dates back to the very early days of the Tennant-Lowe partnership.

Keeping My Fingers Crossed

A very early Tennant/Lowe song, written pre-fame, that Neil says had "the same umba-umba rhythm" as New Order's "Blue Monday"—only the Boys had written it before they had ever heard that song. As a result, hearing "Blue Monday" for the first time made Neil, as he puts it, "a bit depressed." In fact, as Neil notes in a brief segment on the DVD The New Order Story, he told Chris that they should simply give up working on it because New Order had, in effect, beat them to the punch. So this song was never actually completed.

Life's Hard

Even the title of this one is uncertain, although "Life's hard" are apparently the first words. In Chris Heath's book Pet Shop Boys, Literally Neil briefly describes this very early number: "Our first Bobby O-influenced song."

Limbo

Chris and Neil worked on a song with this title in the late 1990s or early 2000s, but very little else is known about it.

Little Boy Lost

Neil has mentioned this as an unreleased song from which he took the line "So afraid, plays the machines in the arcade" for "Birthday Boy." For this reason it will now probably never be completed and released.
The Living Daylights (aka "James Bond Instrumental #2")
Living Legends

A track dating back to the eighties, described as "elegiac but danceable" with "a really gorgeous tune." The Boys decided against finishing it in its original form because it employed a "list of famous names" device, but Madonna then beat them to the punch with "Vogue." Neil has stated that it subsequently "turned into" "A Red Letter Day."

Loop #125

The "placeholder title" for an early version of "KDX 125," recorded as a demo in 1992.

Love and War

First recorded in Glasgow as a demo while the Boys were writing songs in 1989-90 for Behaviour. Chris and Neil worked some more on it in July 1998 during the Bilingual sessions, but as of November 2003 (when Neil answered a fan question about it on the official website) they still hadn't finished it. "But," Neil added, "we probably will one day."

Love Letters

Recorded with David Morales in 1998 during the Nightlife sessions, using the same backup singers as "New York City Boy."

Love Your Enemy

Reportedly somewhat in the style of Massive Attack, this track has been described by the Boys as having "really nice string bit and such a loose feel that you don't want to do anything with it to spoil it."

"Melancholy Melody"

Simply Chris playing an original melody on the piano, recorded "live" on a cassette recorder. It lasts a little less than 2½ minutes. The title is undoubtedly a placeholder.

Mid-life Crisis

Chris and Neil wrote this for their musical Closer to Heaven but decided against using it. It was meant primarily to help the audience get to know the character of Vic a little better.

Motoring

Nearly But Not Quite

I know nothing about this reported Tennant-Lowe track aside from its title.

A New Boy in Town

According to Neil, he and Chris wrote this song right around the time they recorded "Rent." They had originally planned on recording it with Patsy Kensit, but nothing came of it. Neil has described it as "mega sloppy," adding, "The idea is that there's this boy in town and all the girls fancy him and want to know who he is."

The Next Big Thing

Neil has mentioned this as a song that he and Chris wrote with Xenomania during the 2008 Yes sessions. It may yet appear as a bonus track on one of that album's singles.

The Night Is the Time to Explore Who You Are

Apparently another song originally planned for Closer to Heaven, but never used. Word is that the Boys have recorded a "nearly complete" demo, which has yet to emerge in any form.

No Excuse

The original title for a song that eventually become "Up and Down."
The Noise

Nu Sleaze

Primarily a "Chris track," this was recorded during the Nightlife sessions. Originally titled "Get Up on It," it takes George Michael's "Fastlove" phrase "Gotta get up to get down" and reverses it, stating "You've got to get down to get up."

Oh, Dear (aka "Walking Down the High Street")
One Way Street

Written by the Boys in February 2005 and offered to Bananarama—but rejected.
One Day We'll Be Free

An early title for "Discoteca."

Only Love

Only Lovers

An early instrumental demo version of "Dreaming of the Queen," recorded in 1992.

Other Things

Unfortunately I don't know anything about this one aside from its reported title.

The Performance of My Life

They wrote this in late January 2005, around the same time they were working on "I Made My Excuses and Left" and "I'm with Stupid." Nothing else is known about it at this time.

Playing Hard to Get

Playing in the Streets

This song, dating from around the time of the Nightlife sessions, allegedly has a strong "krautrock" sound to it.

The Postman, He Delivers

Apparently also from the Nightlife sessions, little is known about this track aside from its wonderfully salacious title.

A Powerful Friend

Requiem in Denim and Leopardskin

Written by the Boys during the Yes sessions in 2008. In the February 2009 issue of their fan club magazine Literally, Neil describes it as "a very beautiful song … an elegy set to disco music." It's about the makeup artist Lynne Easton, who died in early 2006. She had worked with numerous pop stars, the Pet Shop Boys included. As Chris has described the song, "It looks back to when she first came to London and mentions Johnny Rotten and all these people hanging around in King's Road.… so it's like a memoir of the King's Road in the early eighties." It was considered for inclusion on the album, but apparently producer Brian Higgins didn't care for it. It may yet turn up as a b-side, though Chris says it may need to be rewritten in part.
Ring Road

Neil describes this as "a sort of rock song" that will probably see light as a b-side. He and Chris wrote it in two days, January 24-25, 2005.

Satisfaction Guaranteed

"A quick dance track" primarily written and recorded by Chris during the Release sessions.

7/4

A still incomplete track, with only this working title derived from the fact that it's written in 7/4 time. Not much else is known about it, but it's almost certainly not a "dance track." (Have you ever tried to dance to music in 7/4 time?) Could this, however, be an ancestor of one of the tracks in their Battleship Potemkin film score ("Comrades!" and "Odessa") written in seven-time?

Shame

An early version of "To Step Aside."

Smash Hits

A very early, probably pre-fame track that comes across as a radio ad for Smash Hits magazine, where Neil may still have been working at the time. (Either that or he had only recently left and wrote this out of loyalty.) As far as I know, however, it was never actually used.

Tall Thin Men
Telegraph Boy

This fairly recent and rather scandalous track allegedly concerns "telegram deliverers supplementing income as rent boys."

Telephone Blues

Another reported track about which I know nothing but the title. The thought of the Boys writing and recording a "blues" number, however, strikes me somehow as a bit incongruous.

The Track That Wasn't

Apparently an early title for the brief track on Please that ultimately was released as "Opportunities (Reprise)."

Unbelievable Scenes

The Boys reportedly wrote this in 1998 with a view toward offering it to Robbie Williams, but never finished it. They resurrected it in January 2005, at which time it began to evolve into "Fugitive."

What Would I Know?

Neil considers this "the worst song he's ever written." As such, it will probably never come to light—at least not officially.

Where the Wild Things Are

The Boys wrote this during or shortly before the Yes sessions. They took it as far as the recording stage, complete with orchestration and a spoken intro. But then Neil and Chris decided to scrap it. They instead appropriated part of its melody for "More Than a Dream," which indeed made it onto Yes.
Yes in a No Kind of Way

This track is apparently performed in a style similar to that of Madness. Chris and Neil worked on it in 1994 but apparently haven't gotten around to finishing it.

You've Got to Start Somewhere
You're the Exception That Proves the Rule

This song was, like "Pandemonium," one of several written for Kylie Minogue in 2007 or early 2008 but rejected. Neil has described it as "a really good, funny song." He and Chris have decided, at least tentatively, to incorporate it into the ballet that they're writing, slated to debut in 2011.

Here are the titles of some additional unreleased tracks that have been reported by various other fansites (most notably Euphoric, So Pet Shop Boys, and Pet Shop Boys Reality) but about which I have no information whatsoever. If anyone can provide any details regarding these songs,

Faster
Holding Back
Hold On
Nearly But Not Quite
Private Places
What Does It Feel Like?
Why Not?

Finally, here are the titles of several songs written solely by Neil before he met Chris:

All Things to All Men
A Man on the Television
Can You Hear the Dawn Break?

This was the most popular of the original songs that Neil wrote and performed with his "hippie folk band" Dust in the early 1970s, years before he met Chris.
The [Sun?] of the Peaceful Day Before War
To the Waters and the Wild
What Is the Colour of the Wind?

Three other Dust songs dating from 1971. The second word of the title of the first of these songs is uncertain, but my best guess at this time is "Sun."
She's in Love with the Man She Married

Neil wrote this song in the late '70s. He says that it concerns a woman who has a brief holiday fling with a younger man, but she decides not to leave her husband because she's still in love with him. He and Chris toyed with the idea of recording it with Dusty Springfield, but nothing ever came of it.
She's So Eclectic
Summer Rain
The Taxi-Driver
Telephone Blues

Apparently these four songs were also written solely by Neil shortly before met Chris. He made simple solo demo recordings of some (but not all) of them in 1981.
Has Anyone Seen My Cat?

Neil wrote this song when he was just nine years old. In fact, he wrote an entire musical titled The Girl Who Pulled Tails, of which this song was a part! Now, how precocious is that?

Titles that have been mistakenly identified as unreleased songs written by PSB

Camp David

Neil once mused aloud that he and Chris ought to write a song with this title. But as far as we know, they haven't actually done so.
Dancing in the Dusk

This song was written by Norwegian singer Sondre Lerche, whom Neil and Chris met during a visit to Italy in 2005. After returning to England, the Boys recorded a demo of the song at Lerche's request, apparently with an eye toward him using their arrangement for his own eventual studio recording. More recently (in February 2007) it was reported in the Norwegian press that a collaborative Lerche/PSB rendition would appear on Lerche's fortchcoming album (no title or release date at this time). At any rate, the fact that our heroes had recorded the demo explains its occasional confusion as being one of "their" songs.

Kitsch

Chris and Neil worked with Peter Rauhofer in New York City for several days in May 2000 trying to pull together a cover version of this 1970 song, originally by recorded by Barry Ryan and written by his brother, Paul Ryan. But Rauhofer and the Boys were never satisfied with the results of their labors. However, another cover track recorded during the same sessions, "Break 4 Love," was indeed released.

Maybe This Time

This song is from the Broadway musical Cabaret and was popularized by Liza Minnelli. When the Pet Shop Boys were working with her, they toyed around with producing a new version, presumably in a dance style, but ultimately decided against it. Again, unreleased demos probably exist, but it's not really a "PSB song."
Only in My Mind

An unusual case that I've written about elsewhere on this website. And it's a released track, at that.

Sento Che Mi Senti Che Ti Sento

This is a reference to an Italian disco record in Chris's music collection. The Boys must have mentioned it at some point in an interview, leading to its mistaken identification as an unreleased PSB track. In fact, it's the exact same song as "Ti Sento" by Matia Bazar, which is included on the Pet Shop Boys' 2005 Back to Mine compilation of recordings by other artists. Chris and Neil had hoped to do a remake of it with Dusty Springfield, but nothing ever came of those plans.

3 PSB "Easter eggs"

In CD/DVD parlance, an "Easter egg" is a hidden bonus feature, provided as a pleasant surprise for the consumer. There was a time when Easter eggs were genuinely exciting, but now they've become commonplace. Though originally intended as true gifts to the fans, more recently they've become astute marketing ploys, manipulating people into feeling that they're getting something "extra" for their money. This is especially true when the manufacturer or distributor states right up front that Easter eggs are there for the finding, in some cases going so far as to come right out and tell us how to find them instead of leaving them for us to discover on our own. It almost defeats the purpose—unless, of course, it's meant as a selling point.

Now, such is the expectation of Easter eggs (at least on DVDs) that when it was announced that PopArt would not include the video for "Absolutely Fabulous," rumor and speculation quickly spread that it might nevertheless be included as an Easter egg. Alas, it wasn't.

Neil has said that he now disapproves of Easter eggs, although that apparently hasn't always been the case. On at least three occasions PSB releases have indeed included such hidden bonuses.

1. The song "Postscript" hidden at the end of Very

The most famous and most fabulous PSB Easter egg, offered (in 1993) when such bonuses were still an extremely new, rare, and exciting phenomenon. I distinctly remember the tremendous thrill of accidentally discovering this hidden track without having heard or read anything about it beforehand. It was, in fact, the first Easter egg I'd ever encountered—aside, of course, from the edible variety that children go hunting for on Easter Day. An example of how the Boys were on the cutting edge of their art.

2. The hidden graphics in the original Very packaging

"Postscript" wasn't the only hidden bonus included with Very. The original orange "Lego" packaging—itself a cutting-edge design element—hid, behind the CD tray, a sheet of paper with tiny helmeted Chris- and Neil-heads, forming a "polka-dotted" field. You could discern this by holding the jewel case up to a bright light or, much more clearly, by pulling off the CD tray (risking, however, breakage in the process). I found this only after first noticing a little picture of Neil's face looking up at me through the center spindle on which the CD rests.

Also, "hidden in plain sight," so to speak, are slight variations in the Neil- and Chris-heads on the front and back covers of the insert booklet. On first glance, all of the little heads look identical. But on the front cover, one Neil-head (the one in the fourth row) is subtly different from the others, showing Neil with a slightly more serious expression and a mild smirk. And on the back cover, one Chris-head (in the lower-left corner) is also unique, showing Chris's head bowed a little. The same thing occurs on the Very Relentless packaging as well, with the "serious" Neil head on the Very sleeve and the "bowed" Chris head on the Relentless sleeve.

3. The "For Your Own Good" projection video on the Montage DVD

On the Boys' Nightlife tour they opened their shows with the song "For Your Own Good," played before they even appeared on stage, with a projection video displayed in their stead. This video, which consists simply of Neil's and Chris's digitized heads rotating back and forth, is accessible on the Montage DVD only after you watch the three more "upfront" video extras ("I Don't Know What You Want But I Can't Give It Any More," "New York City Boy," and "You Only Tell Me You Love Me When You're Drunk") all the way through. The Montage booklet makes no secret of this feature, not only telling the reader about it but stating how to find it. Neil has said that he specifically regrets the inclusion of this video, at least as an Easter egg, because he regards such "game-playing" with the consumer as absurd.

The Pet Shop Boys' appearances on Top of the Pops

A weekly broadcast of the latest big hits performed by the artists themselves, Top of the Pops was a U.K. television institution for more than 40 years up until its cancellation in mid-2006. (The closest U.S. equivalent was the long-running but also defunct American Bandstand, but that show boasted far fewer live performances each week.) With 58 appearances, the Pet Shop Boys proved a regular TOTP fixture since "West End Girls" struck gold. The following table lists the dates of PSB appearances on TOTP, the songs performed, and the type of performance. (I am indebted to the BBC Top of the Pops website, the source of this information.)

Date	Song(s)	Type of Performance
December 5, 1985	West End Girls	Live performance
December 19, 1985	West End Girls	Live performance
January 9, 1986	West End Girls	Live performance
January 16, 1986	West End Girls	Music video
March 20, 1986	Love Comes Quickly	Live performance
June 5, 1986	Opportunities (Let's Make Lots of Money)	Live performance
October 2, 1986	Suburbia	Live performance
October 16, 1986	Suburbia	Live performance
December 25, 1986	West End Girls	Live performance
June 25, 1987	It's a Sin	Live performance
July 2, 1987	It's a Sin	Live performance
July 9, 1987	It's a Sin	Rerun of live performance
July 16, 1987	It's a Sin	Rerun of live performance
August 27, 1987	What Have I Done to Deserve This?	Music video with Dusty Springfield
October 22, 1987	Rent	Live performance
December 10, 1987	Always on My Mind	Live performance
December 17, 1987	Always on My Mind	Rerun of live performance
December 25, 1987	Always on My Mind It's a Sin	Live performance
December 31, 1987	Always on My Mind	Music video
January 7, 1988	Always on My Mind	Rerun of live performance
March 31, 1988	Heart	Music video
April 7, 1988	Heart	Live performance
April 14, 1988	Heart	Rerun of live performance
April 21, 1988	Heart	Music video
September 22, 1988	Domino Dancing	Live performance
December 1, 1988	Left to My Own Devices	Live performance
December 25, 1988	Always on My Mind Heart	Live performance
July 6, 1989	It's Alright	Music video
August 10, 1989	Losing My Mind	Live performance with Liza Minnelli
December 28, 1989	West End Girls	Rerun of live performance
October 4, 1990	So Hard	Live performance
November 29, 1990	Being Boring	Live performance
December 25, 1990	Always on My Mind	Rerun of live performance
March 21, 1991	Where the Streets Have No Name (I Can't Take My Eyes Off You)	Music video
June 6, 1991	Jealousy	Music video
December 25, 1991	Where the Streets Have No Name (I Can't Take My Eyes Off You)	Music video
June 10, 1993	Can You Forgive Her?	Live performance
September 16, 1993	Go West	Music video
January 4, 1994	West End Girls	Rerun of live performance
April 7, 1994	Liberation	Live performance
April 14, 1994	Liberation	Music video
May 26, 1994	Absolutely Fabulous	Music video with Jennifer Saunders and Joanna Lumley
September 8, 1994	Yesterday, When I Was Mad	Music video
August 3, 1995	Paninaro '95	Live performance
February 29, 1996	Hallo Spaceboy	Live performance with David Bowie
May 2, 1996	Before	Music video
August 23, 1996	Se A Vida E (That's the Way Life Is)	Music video
March 28, 1997	A Red Letter Day	Live performance
July 4, 1997	Somewhere	Live performance
July 30, 1999	I Don't Know What You Want But I Can't Give It Any More	Live performance
October 8, 1999	New York City Boy	Live performance
January 14, 2000	You Only Tell Me You Love Me When You're Drunk	Live performance
January 21, 2000	You Only Tell Me You Love Me When You're Drunk	Rerun of live performance
March 29, 2002	Home and Dry	Live performance
July 26, 2002	I Get Along	Live performance
November 14, 2003	Miracles	Live performance
March 19, 2004	Flamboyant	Live performance
April 23, 2006	I'm with Stupid	Live performance

Also, we shouldn't let this pass without mentioning two TOTP appearances that Neil made singing with Electronic, performing "Getting Away with It" on December 14, 1989, and "Disappointed" on July 2, 1992.

Celebrities portrayed in the "New York City Boy" video

Disco Sally
Jerry Hall
Bianca Jagger
Roy Lichtenstein
Felipe Rose
John Travolta (Neil: "I don't think it's a great likeness.")
Andy Warhol

Honorable mention for winking from a poster: Debbie Harry

Terms and phrases coined by the Pet Shop Boys that have been adopted by writers

Several commentators have pointed out the way in which the Pet Shop Boys have sometimes appropriated common English phrases (such as "A Man Could Get Arrested," "What Have I Done to Deserve This?" and "Left to My Own Devices") or even the titles of other artists' works (including "Can You Forgive Her?" and "Up Against It") for their own artistic purposes. They're hardly unique in that respect. But the Pet Shop Boys have at least a few original coinages to their credit as well: terms and phrases original with them that have since been adopted by other writers discussing something or someone other than the Pet Shop Boys themselves. (I'm not interested in "PSB terms" used when writing about PSB. That's just too easy. )

"DJ culture"
Author Ulf Poschardt acknowledged his debt to the Pet Shop Boys when borrowing the title of their song "DJ Culture" for the title of his 2000 book, the primary focus of which is the transition in recent years of disc jockeys from mere spinners of records to musicians and producers in their own right. This, of course, almost certainly isn't what Neil and Chris had in mind in their song, but the term isn't inappropriate for Poshardt's purposes, either.
"imperial phase"
In this 2004 book Britpop!: Cool Britannia and the Spectacular Demise of English Rock, author John Harris uses this phrase in describing part of the career arc of Oasis, crediting Neil Tennant in a footnote with coining the term. (Various other writers in magazine articles and reviews have used it in a similar fashion.) It refers to that period of a major popular artist's career when they can seemingly do no wrong—when everything they release proves hugely successful and is widely accepted by the public, after which their career either collapses altogether or at least settles into a somewhat less popular phase. The Pet Shop Boys' own imperial phase is generally acknowledged as roughly coinciding with their album Actually. Neil himself has said that the chart performance of "Domino Dancing," which was less successful than he and Chris had expected, signaled the end of their imperial era.
"down the dumper"

"The dumper" was the name that the Smash Hits staff had for the box in their office where unwanted promotional records were unceremoniously deposited. In their documentary Pet Shop Boys: A Life in Pop, Neil and Chris note that, much to their delight, they often rescued Bobby O imports from the dumper. Journalist Andrew Harrison, in the April 2006 issue of the U.K. music magazine The Word, claims that Neil himself coined the phrase "down the dumper" during his tenure at Smash Hits (which used the phrase liberally in print) to refer to something that has apparently met its demise. For instance: "Smash Hits has gone down the dumper." Examples abound of the phrase having been picked up by other writers; just do a Google search for it.

"Pur-LEASE!"

Another term allegedly coined by Neil during his Smash Hits days. Once more the April 2006 issue of The Word is our source: "Another Tennantism. Indicates campish horror." And again Google provides ample evidence of other writers using it.

"pervy synth duo"

Reportedly coined by Neil, once again during his time at Smash Hits, to describe the Eurythmics. It has since been used by various writers to refer to other bands as well, including Soft Cell (perhaps none more appropriately), Suicide, Erasure, and—not without a touch of possibly unintentional irony—the Pet Shop Boys themselves.
"from revolution to revelation"

Not so much a "term" as a phrase, but coined by the Boys nonetheless in their song "My October Symphony." It was appropriated by author and scholar Tara Brabazon for the title of her 2005 book From Revolution to Revelation: Generation X, Popular Memory, and Cultural Studies, a sociological examination of collective shared experience through popular culture. She acknowledges the source in her book's introduction, titled "Changing the Dedication"—itself paraphrased from the song—which opens with the chorus quoted in its entirety.

And possibly—

"like punk never happened"

There's some debate as to who actually coined this phrase. But according to the Virgin Media website, during Neil's days at Smash Hits he was the first to say "It's like punk never happened" in reference to much of the music of the early 1980s. This phrase was adopted by writer Dave Rimmer for the title of his 1985 book Like Punk Never Happened: Culture Club and the New Pop.

There are more lists in Part 2. Simply click the "Next" button below.

Copyright © 2001-2009 by Wayne Studer. All Rights Reserved. All lyrics and images copyright © their respective dates by their respective owners. Brief quotations and small, low-resolution images are used for identification and critical commentary; it is therefore believed that they constitute Fair Use under U.S. copyright law.

Wayne's Little Online Book of PSB Lists (Part 1)

Wayne's Little Online Book of PSB Lists
(Part 1)