Wayne's Little Online Book of PSB Lists (Part 1)

My "Lists page" had grown so large that I've decided to split it into three parts so that they will load more quickly for you. The Table of Contents below still displays all of the lists, although the later links will take you to Part 2 and Part 3.

I've moved my tables of UK/US chart performance and PSB songs "live" to my new "Extras" section.

10 things the Pet Shop Boys did to commit career suicide in the United States

It’s an ugly truth, a horrible reality, and a total embarrassment to all U.S. Pet Shop Boys fans. After being major hitmakers in the States during the late 1980s, the Boys have since then been reduced to a hitless "cult band" in America (aside from their tremendous ongoing success on the dance charts) while remaining major stars just about everywhere else—even becoming the best-selling duo in the history of the British charts. How did this terrible thing happen?

The answer is simple: Neil and Chris committed "career suicide" in the U.S. Now, don’t misunderstand me. I don’t think they did anything "wrong." I wouldn’t change a thing about them or the way they’ve handled their career. But, as fantastic as they are, they doomed themselves in America.

Well, that's America's loss. It didn’t happen all at once. It happened in stages, step-by-step. The U.S. mass market would have forgiven them one, two, or even three or four of the steps I’m about to describe. But, taken altogether, it spelled American career suicide.

Here they are—the ten things that the Pet Shop Boys did to commit career suicide in the United States:

1. "Opportunities (Let’s Make Lots of Money)"

I talk about this track at some length in the main portion of my website, including how it made much of the U.S. public extremely suspicious of the Boys almost from the get-go. In short, pop stars in the U.S. aren’t supposed to be so blatantly calculated and opportunistic. You say, "But Neil and Chris weren’t being ‘themselves’ in that song—they were merely playing roles." Yes, precisely. But the mass of the American record-buying public isn’t sophisticated enough to understand such concepts as a "lyrical persona." And while most of them do comprehend satire, they usually don’t perceive it when it’s handled with any degree of subtlety. "Weird Al" Yankovic they get. "Opportunities," many of them didn’t.

2. The Disco album

By the 1980s, "disco" had become a dirty word in America. Remember: "Disco sucks!" Even the people who were still brave enough to continue making disco music weren’t calling it "disco" anymore. It was "dance music." Same thing, just a different label. The Pet Shop Boys, contrarians ever, went ahead and titled their first remix album Disco. Strike two.

3. Neil yawning on the cover of Actually

Again, I discuss this at length in my entry for Actually and even devote a special page to the image's iconic status. To summarize, Americans don’t like it when their stars yawn. At least not unless they’re yawning at something that they themselves would think is boring or "uncool." They especially don’t like them yawning, it would appear, directly in their faces, perhaps even at them. Chris's odd expression—halfway between a vacant blank and a scowl—didn’t help matters, either. They’re even wearing tuxedos. Rock stars do not wear tuxedos, unless they’re getting an award from the President, and not always then. "Just what are these guys about, anyway?"

4. "Shopping" and "Rent"

If the cover of Actually weren't enough, it had these two songs on it. Even fewer people understood "Shopping" than understood "Opportunities." A lot of music critics cited it as evidence that the Boys were triviality incarnate. And U.S. rock stars are anything but trivial, right? Besides, real men don’t sing about shopping. Hell, they don’t even like to go shopping, much less sing about it. Of course, "Shopping" isn’t really about shopping, but that went right over most people’s heads. And then there's "Rent," sung from the perspective of either a kept woman (according to Neil) or a rent boy (according to widespread interpretation). Either way, it doesn't play well in Peoria.

5. "Always on My Mind" not appearing on Actually

The Boys committed a cardinal sin with this one. They released a hit single that wasn’t on the current album. And "Always on My Mind" was a big hit in the U.S. So people expected to find it on the most recent album, the one released just a couple months before. Wrong. Major source of frustration. Of course, the U.S. record company knew this and so rush-released a "special edition" of Actually that featured a second disc, the 12-inch single version of "Always on My Mind." That only exacerbated the situation. Now fans who had already bought Actually felt ripped off. The result: nobody was happy.

6. The "Domino Dancing" video

Now we’re really getting down to it—the final days of the Pet Shop Boys’ tenure as major U.S. hitmakers. The "Domino Dancing" video received a lot of airplay on MTV. But, despite its heterosexual veneer, the video’s blatant homoeroticism, in which those two shirtless young guys were even more obviously posited as sex-objects than the girl who was their ostensible object of desire, was just too much for the bulk of their American fan-base to handle. "Domino Dancing" became a U.S. Top 20 hit for the Boys, but it would prove to be their last.

7. The Introspective album

Neil himself has noted how Introspective was a major blow to their U.S. popularity. How so? I mean, it’s a drop-dead brilliant record, right? Yes, it certainly is. But that’s not the point. You see, when U.S. consumers go out to buy an album, they expect the songs on that album to be pretty much exactly the same as the hit versions of the songs playing on the radio. Now, "long versions" are OK—in fact, they’re excellent. U.S. consumers usually like it when the album version of the song is the "real" version, and the hit single is just an edited "short version." But that’s not what Introspective was all about. The versions of the two major U.S. hits on that album, "Always on My Mind" and "Domino Dancing," weren’t the "unedited" originals of the hit singles. Rather, they were drastically remixed. Thus, from the American consumer’s perspective, the singles were the "real" versions, and the album versions were exactly what they were: extended dance remixes. Since the greater mass of the U.S. record-buying public has little use for extended dance remixes, Introspective indeed proved highly detrimental to PSB’s popularity in America.

8. "Where the Streets Have No Name (I Can’t Take My Eyes Off You)"

By now our heroes were virtual has-beens on the U.S. singles chart. U2, on the other hand, were at their peak of popularity in America. And then along come Chris and Neil, who treat U2 with such apparent disrespect. (As The Edge was reported to have quipped, "What have I, what have I, what have I done to deserve this?") Yes, it’s a brilliant deconstruction and demythologization, but who the hell knows and cares about "deconstruction" and "demythologization," anyway? This only confirmed what most of the U.S. record-buying public had long suspected about the Boys: they were not to be trusted.

9. The "Performance" tour

Chris and Neil didn't go on a live concert tour in the U.S. until 1991—which itself probably did serious damage to their longterm American success. When they finally did tour in America with their "Performance" stage show, they wanted it to be anything but your typical rock concert. That is, they wanted to do more than stand up there and perform their songs, trying as best they can to replicate the sound of the records. Unfortunately, that’s precisely what most American concert-goers want and expect. First the delay, then the unexpected. Once again, the original thing turned out to be the wrong thing by U.S. standards.

10. Neil "comes out" publicly shortly after the release of Very

The final nail in the coffin, though the body was already pretty cold at this point. From Neil's personal perspective, it was undoubtedly the right thing to do—but not if you want to be a major star in America, at least until the further decline in homophobia. Unless your name is Elton (and, unfortunately, even he has now apparently worn out his welcome, not having had a Top 40 pop hit for several years), you cannot be a major ongoing mainstream star in the United States and be openly gay. You can be gay and in the closet. Or you can be open and achieve limited success as a flash in the pan or as a recurring bit-player. But not as a major ongoing mainstream star. At least not yet. Hopefully that will change, and soon. Meanwhile, Neil’s coming out has regrettably pegged the Pet Shop Boys as a "gay group" in the United States—more or less by definition a cult band.

And that’s how the Pet Shop Boys went in ten easy steps from being major hitmakers to a hitless cult band in the U.S.

The 10 PSB songs that they play on my local "80s oldies" radio station*

*Actually, this station has now switched from a strictly eighties format to a wider range of oldies embracing 1975-1999. This list, however, still accurately reflects their apparent Pet Shop Boys playlist. The only difference is that they play PSB even less often than before.

My 10 favorite PSB songs, period

The only 2 PSB songs I don't like

And if by chance you're pissed off at me after reading this, please remember those two great aphoristic truths: (1) One man's trash is another man's treasure, and (2) There's no accounting for taste—mine included.

My 10 favorite PSB albums, in order*

*Not counting Discography or PopArt, the latter of which would have to be the album I'd take with me if I were allowed only one on a desert island. But I've always considered "greatest hits" and "best of" collections to be cop-outs in "best album" lists. So I've disqualified those two albums.

**Very isn't merely my favorite Pet Shop Boys album; it's one of my five favorite pop/rock albums of all time.

My 4 least favorite PSB albums

 1. Disco 2

There are some fans for whom this isn't their least favorite PSB album. Just not very many of them.

 2. Essential

This limited-edition release from 1998 isn't a bad album by any means, but it's pretty much only for completists like me. I think I've listened to it twice all the way through since I bought it.

 3. Disco 4

Taken strictly on its own merits, it's not a bad album at all. In fact, I quite like it. But, with all those tracks by other artists simply remixed or "re-produced" by Chris and Neil (with their occasional support vocals added), is it really a "Pet Shop Boys album"? The very fact that you can ask such a question without sounding like an idiot explains its appearance in this list.

 4. Disco

In my opinion it's much better than Disco 2, and it's more fully a "PSB album" than Disco 4, but remix albums by their very nature are largely redundant affairs. And since "In the Night" and "Paninaro" were later made widely available on Alternative, this album is rendered more or less "nonessential."

My 5 favorite PSB album covers

 1. Actually

For the reasons that I cover quite nicely in my main entry for the album, if I do say so myself.

 2. Very

Incredibly innovative, not to mention eye-catching. It also made me nostalgic for my childhood Lego™ set. It's a pity—understandable, but a pity nonetheless—that the original design is no longer available in new copies of the album, having been replaced by a mere photo of the original packaing.

 3. Please

A marvelous study in the effectiveness of minimalism.

 4. Alternative

I particularly like the lenticular photo of the special edition, which allowed it (appropriately enough) to "alternate" between Chris and Neil.

 5. Release

A high-detail botanical print—very classy. Or is it just my taste? A rather tongue-in-cheek 1994 book titled The Unofficial Gay Manual by Kevin Dilallo and Jack Krumholtz states that hanging botanical prints—"not expensive but look it"—on the living room wall is typical of gay households. Hmmm—

My 10 favorite PSB remixes (not counting hit single and original album versions)

  *Boosted a notch for quoting Othello.
**Boosted two notches simply by virtue of the title of the mix.

My 10 favorite PSB b-sides

*Docked a couple notches because Neil's vocal is buried so deep in the mix.

My 5 favorite non-originals covered by PSB

My 5 favorite PSB videos

 1. I Wouldn't Normally Do This Kind of Thing

Astounding techno-psychedelia with a two-pronged theme: (1) What if the sixties had had access to nineties technology, with Tennant-Lowe in the roles of Lennon-McCartney? – and (2) What are some things that Chris and Neil wouldn't normally do? The end result is one of the most imaginative and visually exciting music videos made by any artist.

 2. How Can You Expect to Be Taken Seriously?

Neil and Chris parody major rock stars. Neil's takeoff on Springsteen, in particular, is delightful.

 3. It's a Sin

I love the personifications of the Seven Deadly Sins.

 4. Liberation

Remarkable computer-generated imagery that beautifully complements the song. I never tire of watching it. In fact, I would've ranked it even higher if only there had been a little more of the Boys in it.

 5. DJ Culture

Striking, often gorgeous imagery—alternately amusing and profound—synched to the text to provide a very literal symbolic reading to a lyrically challenging piece. Seeing Neil in the role of Oscar Wilde on trial never fails to move me. Possibly the PSB video that most enhances its song.

My 5 least favorite PSB videos

 1. Home and Dry

OK, so it's art. Doesn't mean I have to like it. If I wanted to watch rodents scurrying about, I'd watch a nature documentary—except every nature documentary I've ever seen is more interesting than this.

 2. Rent

Love the song, but the video bores me to tears. Sorry.

 3. Paninaro

I appreciate the do-it-yourself aesthetic, I really do. But just because Neil and Chris are brilliant songwriters and recording artists doesn't make them brilliant video directors and filmographers. And they know it, too, which is why they made only one video like this. I appreciate that even more.

 4. I Get Along

The Bruce Weber schtick—more or less random videography focusing on beautiful young people who look like they've just stepped out of an Abercrombie & Fitch catalog—was marvelous more than a decade before for "Being Boring," and still quite nice several years later for "Se A Vida É." But by this time it was starting to get old. Or maybe it's just me—getting old, that is. Regardless, I tend to hit the Skip button on my remote.

 5. I'm with Stupid

Terrific song, and I'm quite fond of Little Britain. So how come I don't like what David Walliams and Matt Lucas are doing in this video? I'm sure it was meant to be quite funny but, personally, I've never found it particularly amusing. It's not actually bad—just disappointing. The fact that the Pet Shop Boys themselves make only a brief concluding cameo appearance in their own music video hardly helps matters. I just can't help but feel that it could have been so much better.

5 guest appearances by Neil and/or Chris in other artists' music videos

1. "Nothing Has Been Proved" - Dusty Springfield

Chris and Neil, who wrote and produced this latter-day hit for Dusty, appear as reporters in the video.

2. "Getting Away with It" - Electronic

Neil, who co-wrote the song with Sumner and Marr, appears in his role of backup singer, though at times he's more like a co-lead, sharing vocal duties with Sumner.

3. "Disappointed" - Electronic

This time Neil takes front and center in the role of lead singer. (From this perspective it may not be altogether appropriate to call this a mere "guest appearance.")

4. "Hallo Spaceboy" - David Bowie

The Boys appear intermittently in performance scenes that alternate with those featuring Bowie himself. While Chris plays keyboard, Neil sings backup—once again sometimes more like a co-lead.

5. "Do the Right Thing" - Ian Wright

Chris appears briefly in the video for this song, which he co-wrote and produced for U.K. soccer star Ian Wright. I've never seen this video myself, but I'm told that in it Chris wears a rather unusual hat. Of course, that's not exactly out of character for him.

The 10 biggest PSB hits on the U.S. Billboard "Hot 100" singles chart*

 1. West End Girls (#1)
 2. What Have I Done to Deserve This? (#2)
 3. Always on My Mind (#4)
 4. It's a Sin (#9)
 5. Opportunities (Let's Make Lots of Money) (#10)
 6. Domino Dancing (#18)
 7-8. (tie) Love Comes Quickly (#62)
 7-8. (tie) So Hard (#62)
 9. Suburbia (#70)
10. Where the Streets Have No Name (I Can't Take My Eyes Off You) (#72)

*"New York City Boy," "I Don't Know What You Want But I Can't Give It Any More," and "Break 4 Love" all would have made this list if it were based solely on sales since those three singles reached #53, #66, and #51, respectively, on the Sales chart. But, unlike the singles that are listed here, they didn't make it onto the "Hot 100" because of an almost total lack of radio airplay.

Would you care to see the Boys' complete U.K. and U.S. pop singles chart history?

The 10 biggest PSB hits on the U.S. Billboard dance charts

The status of PSB in Joel Whitburn's Hot Dance/Disco 1974-2003

Joel Whitburn's Hot Dance/Disco 1974-2003 (published in January 2004 and available from Record Research), lists the performance of hits on the U.S. dance charts as reported by Billboard magazine. I'm pleased to report that the Pet Shop Boys are cited as the fourth most successful artist in the history of the U.S. dance charts, behind only Madonna (#1), Janet Jackson (#2), and Donna Summer (#3). (In case you're wondering how other select artists fared, Prince is ranked #5, Michael Jackson is #6, Whitney Houston is #8, Depeche Mode is #10, New Order is #13, Erasure is #17, and George Michael is #25.)

According to this fascinating book, PSB can also claim these further distinctions:

• the most successful male artists on the U.S. dance charts (though Prince is the most successful male solo artist)
• the most successful duo or group
• the most successful non-Americans
• the eighth most successful artist of the 1980s
• the sixth most successful of the 1990s
• #3 in the number of dance hits (28), exceeded only by Madonna and Janet Jackson
• #5 in the number of Number One dance hits (8), surpassed by Madonna, Janet Jackson, Donna Summer, and Whitney Houston
  

The 10 most successful PSB albums on the U.S. Billboard charts

PSB U.S. and U.K. gold and platinum records

In the United States, gold albums () are awarded by the RIAA (Record Industry Association of America) for sales of 500,000 units and platinum albums () for sales of one million units. In the United Kingdom, gold albums are awarded by the BPI (British Phonographic Industry, Ltd.) for sales of 100,000 units and platinum albums for sales of 300,000 units. Double-platinum () and triple-platinum () awards are simply for the respective multiples of those sales figures.

No PSB singles have received gold or platinum awards in the U.S. In the U.K., however, the following singles have won gold awards, which for U.K. singles signified sales of at least 500,000 units. (Later, in 1991, the rules were changed, lowering that figure to 400,000.)

Beginning in 1991, Nielsen Media Research began implementing the computerized SoundScan system to track music sales. On two separate occasions, Keith Caulfield of "Ask Billboard" (at billboard.com) has provided the official SoundScan tallies for U.S. sales of the Pet Shop Boys albums released since 1991. These figures are accurate as of October 2004 and May 2006 (except for those for Fundamental and PopArt, which are from October 2006). I've also included in the tallies the minimum U.S. sales figures for the pre-1991 albums based upon RIAA gold- and platinum-record awards (as described above). Pre-1991 albums are listed in chronological order; post-1991 albums are listed in descending order according to sales figures, which are rounded to the nearest thousand:

¹Since the RIAA has awarded Please a platinum album, it must have sold at least one million units in the U.S. Since it has not, however, received a double-platinum award, it must not yet have sold at least two million.

²Since the RIAA has awarded Actually and Introspective gold albums, they must have sold at least a half-million units each in the U.S. But since they haven't been awarded platinum albums, they must not yet have sold at least a million.

³Since the RIAA has not awarded Disco and Behaviour gold albums, they must not yet have sold at least a million units.

⁴The RIAA has awarded Very a gold album because at least a half-million copies have been shipped to stores in the U.S., although the SoundScan figures for actual sales are somewhat less.

⁵As of mid-October 2006 in the case of Fundamental and late October 2006 in the case of PopArt.

The 10 longest PSB song (or track) titles

This ranking depends on definitions. I'm counting the number of individual characters in the titles, including subtitles, punctuation marks, and spaces. If you count the titles of individual songs only, then the two songs in the medley at #1 would have to be counted separately, and #2 thus becomes the "winner." In this case, however, I'm counting the length of the title of the track. By that criterion, #1 is the clear winner.

  1. Where the Streets Have No Name (I Can't Take My Eyes Off You) - 61 characters
  2. I Don't Know What You Want But I Can't Give It Any More - 55
  3. It's Just My Little Tribute to Caligula, Darling - 48
4-5. (tie) This Must Be the Place I Waited Years to Leave - 46
4-5. (tie) You Only Tell Me You Love Me When You're Drunk - 46
6-7. (tie) How Can You Expect to Be Taken Seriously? - 41
6-7. (tie) I Wouldn't Normally Do This Kind of Thing - 41
8-9. (tie) The Boy Who Couldn't Keep His Clothes On - 40
8-9. (tie) Opportunities (Let's Make Lots of Money) - 40
 10. Try It (I'm in Love with a Married Man) - 39

The 10 longest PSB album tracks (not counting bootlegs, "special editions," or Disco albums)

The whole matter of track length is imprecise. Which figure do you use? The "official" figure often marked on album covers or discs? Sometimes it's incorrect. The figure that appears on the digital readout of your CD player or computer? Often it varies from one device to another. (Yes, I've tried it!) So what figures do I use here? Simple. I've checked various sources—album covers, CD readouts, online references—and then picked the figure that appears most often for each track. Majority rules, if not always definitively!

The 10 (actually 12) longest commercially released "official" PSB remixes

The 10 shortest PSB tracks

Commerically available tracks only, not counting bootlegs or some of Disco 2's brief "megamix-style" excerpts of full-length mixes. Also, I don't count official PSB ringtones here.

*I prefer to count and time "Postscript" as a separate track in spite of the fact that on the Very CD it actually "tracks" as part of "Go West."

12 (and maybe 13) PSB songs with lyrics that don't contain the title

This list doesn't include instrumentals ("Casting a Shadow,," "KDX 125," "The Living Daylights," and "The Noise"), which of course by their very nature don't have lyrics and therefore can't include the title.

 1. Between Two Islands

 2. The Calm Before the Storm

 3. Fugitive

 4. K-hole

 5. The Night I Fell in Love

 6. Postscript

 7. Transfer

 8. All or Nothing

Except for snippets of Neil singing "And there she goes" in the background, the lyrics of this song are almost entirely in Japanese, and the few smatterings of English don't include the title. Of course, it's distinctly possible (even likely) that a Japanese translation of the words "all or nothing" appears in the lyrics, but there's no doubt that the English title itself never appears.

 9. Paninaro '95

This may be trifling on my part, but although the word "paninaro" occurs prominently in this track, the number 95 never appears in the lyrics. Nor would you expect it to.

10. Vampires

Although the word "vampire" (singular) is used repeatedly in the lyrics, "vampires" (plural) appears only in the title.

11. Je T'aime…Moi Non Plus

True, it wasn't written by Neil and Chris, but they did record it, and in a rendition that doesn't include the French title (whereas the original did), so it merits inclusion here. It does, however, include the Boys' English translation of the title: "I love you… but not more than me."

12. Where the Streets Have No Name (I Can't Take My Eyes Off You)

Not only does Neil never actually sing the title of the "I Can't Take My Eyes Off You" portion of this track, but even in the original version Frankie Valli sings "Can't take my eyes off of you" rather than the title, "I Can't Take My Eyes Off You."

And perhaps—

13. I Don't Know What You Want But I Can't Give It Any More

I know the "official" printed lyrics include the repeated title verbatim in the chorus. But, at least to my ears, I never once hear Neil singing the pronoun "I" before "don't know what you want but I can't give it any more." Maybe he "clips" it so much that it's barely noticeable.

By the way, I don't include "Saturday Night Forever" in this list because, although the words "Saturday night" and "forever" are separated by punctuation and appear on separate lines in the printed lyrics, they do appear back-to-back and are sung in that sequence: "(Saturday night, Saturday night) forever and ever."

9 (or 10) songs on which Chris sings (or "speaks") lead

I'm not counting songs in which Chris's voice can be clearly heard but in which he takes a decidedly secondary role, such as the original 7" version of "I Want a Dog," in which he recites a list of dog breeds during the instrumental break. In such cases Neil is nevertheless the lead singer. No, I'm focusing here on songs in which Chris's voice is either dominant or at least equal to Neil's. There aren't many of them—

 1. Paninaro/Paninaro '95

Neil sings the repeated "Paninaro—oh, oh, oh" chorus, but Chris speaks what amounts to the verses and bridge.

 2. One of the Crowd

This time Neil sings the bridge (nothing more than the title), but Chris sing-speaks the verses and chorus in a voice that's heavily distorted, almost to the point of unintelligibility.

 3. We All Feel Better in the Dark

The Neil-chorus, Chris-verses pattern again, but at least this time Chris's voice isn't electronically distorted—only somewhat buried in the mix.

 4. Music for Boys

Essentially an instrumental, though Chris's distorted voice intones the title at strategic points. That may be Neil singing the repeated "oh, yeah" line, sped up to sound like one of David Seville's chipmunks.

 5. Postscript

For the first time in recorded history, Chris actually sings in his natural voice, though multi-tracked to the point that, when I first heard this, I thought it was the same male chorus that handled the background vocals on the preceding song, "Go West."

 6. Euroboy

Chris and Neil pretty much share the lead vocal in this track, with Chris's voice disguised through the use of a Vocoder.

 7. Somewhere (Extended Mix)

Although Chris's voice is heard little if any in most mixes of this PSB remake, he's quite prominent in the Extended Mix, in which he recites some of the lyrics of another song from West Side Story, "One Hand, One Heart"—effectively taking the lead, however briefly, during that part of the track.

 8. Lies

Chris's second full-fledged singing vocal, and not so heavily multi-tracked this time around.

 9. Time on My Hands

Chris does the recurring "count up" throughout the song, and although Neil repeatedly sings a couple of lines of more substantive lyrics, his voice is so profoundly distorted that he's essentially unintelligible. It boils down to a co-lead vocal between the two of them.

And possibly—

 10. Je T'Aime…Moi Non Plus

Chris has stated that the "male part" in this duet with Sam Taylor-Wood is performed by a Macintosh computer, but I'd be surprised if Chris's own voice didn't play at least some part in the proceedings.

Other songs in which Chris's voice can be heard

These are the songs not covered in the preceding list in which Chris's voice can also be heard—often (though certainly not always) "vocoderized" or otherwise distorted:

• Happiness Is an Option
  

• Home and Dry
• How Can You Expect to Be Taken Seriously?
• I Get Excited (You Get Excited Too)
• I Made My Excuses and Left
  
• I Want a Dog (7" version)
  
• It Doesn't Often Snow at Christmas (saying "Happy New Year" at the end)
  
• It's Alright
  
• Metamorphosis
• So Long, Farewell
• This Must Be the Place I Waited Years to Leave
• We Came from Outer Space (several lines quietly spoken in the mix)
• We're the Pet Shop Boys
• Where the Streets Have No Name (I Can't Take My Eyes Off You)
  

And maybe (difficult to tell for sure without confirmation):

• Nyet ("Nyet!" to Neil's "Da!"?)
• Miracles ("Dark skies, dark skies…"?)
• Radiophonic (the spoken title that recurs throughout?)

One of my site visitors has also reminded me that you can very briefly and faintly hear Chris sing-speaking along with Neil's main vocal at one point in the "Heart" video. (The same is also true of Ian McKellan's vampire and the actress who plays Neil's bride.)

13 (or 14) studio tracks on which Neil plays the guitar

Neil has played the guitar live in concert on such songs as "Suburbia," "Rent," "Se A Vida É," and "Was It Worth It?" But there's only a handful of cases in which it's a documented fact—or at least, from the evidence, a very strong likelihood—that he's playing guitar on studio tracks. That doesn't mean that these are the only tracks on which he plays guitar; nor does it necessarily mean that there's not another guitarist on some of these tracks as well. (Note: Guitar samples played on a keyboard don't count.)

 1. Domino Dancing
 2. It Must Be Obvious
 3. How Can You Expect to Be Taken Seriously?
 4. The End of the World
 5. The Truck Driver and His Mate
 6. Hit and Miss
 7. You Only Tell Me You Love Me When You're Drunk
 8. Boy Strange
 9. Out of My System
10. Home and Dry
11. I Get Along
12. Birthday Boy
13. Luna Park

And if you stretch it a bit—

14. I Want a Lover

Neil plays bass guitar on this last track. (Well, it's a guitar, isn't it?)

In all likelihood Neil also plays guitar on some other tracks on Release aside from the three listed above (#10-12); it's just that those are the only three so far for which we have definite confirmation of Neil's guitar work.

A partial list of synths/samplers used by the Pet Shop Boys

I've managed to piece together the following incomplete list of synthesizers (both analog and digital, including samplers) used by the Boys. If you know of additional synths/samplers that they've definitely used, please , including the source of your information (magazine article, personal observation, etc.).

Akai S1000 Sampler Akai S1000HD Sampler Akai S3200 Akai S900 Alesis A6 Andromeda ARP 2600 Emagic Logic Audio Sequencer E-Mu Emulator E-Mu Emulator II E-Mu Emulator II+ E-Mu Morpheus E-Mu Orbit E-Mu Proformance Plus E-Mu Planet Phat E-Mu Proteus 1 Fairlight CMI Series II Fairlight CMI Series III Korg MicroKorg Korg M1 Korg M1r Korg Prophecy Korg Triton Korg Triton Extreme Kurzweil K2000/K2500 Kurzweil PC-88 LinPlug RM IV drum machine New England Digital Synclavier Nord Electro Nord Electro 2 Nord Lead 2 Nord Lead 3 Nord Modular G2 Oberheim Matrix 1000 Oberheim Matrix-12 Oberheim OB8 Oberheim SEM Oberheim Xpander PPG Modular Synthesizer 300

PPG Wave 2.2 PPG Wave 2.3 Roland 700 Series Roland PC-200 MKII Roland A-50 Roland AlphaJuno 1 Roland CR78 Roland D-50 Roland JD-800 Roland JP-8000 Roland Juno-106 Roland Juno-60 Roland Jupiter-8 Roland JV1080 Roland JV2080 Roland JX-10 Roland MKS50 Roland MKS80 "Super Jupiter" Roland P300 Roland R-70 Roland S770 Roland SC88 Roland SPD-8 Triggers Roland TB-303 Bassline Roland TR-808 drum machine Roland TR-909 drum machine Roland U110 Roland VG8 guitar processor Sequential Circuits Prophet 5 Studio Electronics Midimoog Waldorf MicroWave Waldorf MicroWave XT Waldorf Wave Yamaha DX1 Yamaha DX7 Yamaha TG33* Yamaha TG500 Yamaha TX81Z

They've also used older analog synthesizers such as the Moog (particularly while recording Behaviour and its associated b-sides); I'm uncertain at this time regarding the exact models, although the Moog Modular—of which Behaviour producer Harold Faltermeyer is apparently especially fond—seems a likely candidate. As for other keyboards, Chris has been known to play acoustic piano and a Fender Rhodes electric piano. Bits of organ can also be heard in several PSB tracks (such as "Go West," "Shameless," and "Decadence"), but in each case it's uncertain whether it's an actual organ or a synth or sampler mimicking the sound of an organ.

I'm indebted to Gareth Edwards for contributing a good deal of information to my list above, for which I'm very grateful.

*In response to a September 2003 question on the official PSB website, Chris cited the "Roland TG33" as a common source for string synth sounds on PSB recordings. Yet I haven't been able to find any other references online to a "TG33" synth by Roland. There is, however, a Yamaha TG33. In all likelihood, Chris confused the synth manufacturers.

The key signatures of selected PSB songs

This is a somewhat arcane little list—some might even call it neurotic—but I'm rather proud of it. I've figured out (or, in a few cases, some of my online correspondents have figured out for me) the key signatures of a number of Pet Shop Boys songs. I certainly don't claim certainty, however, so if you know for sure that I'm wrong about any of these, or if you know the key signatures of any PSB songs that are missing here, .

• Always on My Mind - G major
  

• Being Boring - E major (chorus) and F minor (verses)
  
• Can You Forgive Her? - B minor
  
• Closer to Heaven - C minor
• Delusions of Grandeur - G minor (verses) and G major (chorus)
  
• A Different Point of View - C major
  
• Discoteca - C minor
  
• DJ Culture - C minor, with an E minor bridge
  
• Do I Have To? - C minor
  
• Domino Dancing - A minor
  
• Dreaming of the Queen - B minor
  
• Electricity - E major
  
• The End of the World - G major
• Flamboyant - B major
  
• Footsteps - E major
  
• For Your Own Good - E minor
• Forever in Love - C minor
  
• Go West - C major, modulating near the end to D major
  
• Heart - A minor
  
• Here - C major
  
• Home and Dry - A major
  
• How Can You Expect to Be Taken Seriously? - G minor
  
• I Don't Know What You Want But I Can't Give It Any More - F minor
  
• I Get Along - G major
  
• I Get Excited - A minor
  
• I Want a Dog - A minor
  
• I Want a Lover - A minor
  
• I Wouldn't Normally Do This Kind of Thing - D major
  
• If Looks Could Kill - C minor
  
• I'm Not Scared - C minor
  
• In Denial - C major, with a C major bridge
  
• In the Night - C minor
  
• It Always Comes as a Surprise - A major
  
• It Couldn't Happen Here - C major
  
• It's a Sin - C minor
  
• Jealousy - C major
  
• King's Cross - F minor
  
• Later Tonight - E minor
  
• Left to My Own Devices - A minor
  
• Liberation - B major (verses) and D major (chorus)
  
• London - C major
• Losing My Mind - E major (PSB version); G major (Liza Minnelli's version)
  
• Love Comes Quickly - B minor
  
• Love Is a Catastrophe - A minor
  
• A Man Could Get Arrested - C minor
  
• Miracles - D minor, but ending on a D major chord
• Music for Boys - C major
• Nervously - C major
  
• The Night I Fell in Love - E major
• One and One Make Five - mainly D minor, with an F major bridge
  
• One in a Million - A major, modulating near the end to B major
  
• One of the Crowd - A minor
  
• The Only One - F major
  
• Only the Wind - A minor
  
• Opportunities (Let's Make Lots of Money) - C minor, modulating for the final chorus to C minor
  
• Paninaro - C minor
  
• Positive Role Model - C minor
  
• Radiophonic - A minor
  
• A Red Letter Day - F major
  
• Rent - A minor
• Se A Vida É - A major
  
• Sexy Northerner - E minor
• Shameless - A minor (verses) and A major (chorus)
  
• Shopping - A minor
• Single - D major (verses and bridge) and C major (chorus)
  
• So Hard - A minor (verses) and C major (chorus)
  
• Somebody Else's Business - C minor
  
• Suburbia - C major
  
• The Survivors - F major
  
• That's My Impression - C minor
  
• The Theatre - E minor (chorus) and E major (verses)
  
• This Must Be the Place I Waited Years to Leave - B minor
  
• Time on My Hands - A minor
• To Face the Truth - A major
  
• To Speak Is a Sin - A minor
  
• To Step Aside - C minor
  
• Tonight Is Forever - C minor
• The Truck Driver and His Mate - C major, modulating at times to D major
  
• Two Divided by Zero - E minor
  
• Vampires - F minor
  
• Violence - A minor
  
• Was It Worth It? - C minor, modulating at the end to E major
  
• West End Girls - E minor
  
• What Have I Done to Deserve This? - C major
  
• Why Don't We Live Together? - C minor
  
• Yesterday, When I Was Mad - C minor (verses) and C major (chorus); it has been suggested that this song is actually in the F Dorian modal key, which has the same notes as C minor but which resolves on F, although it actually ends on a B major chord; this serves to underscore the harmonic complexity of this track
  
• You Choose - A minor
  
• You Only Tell Me You Love Me When You're Drunk - C major
  
• Young Offender - D major
  
• Your Funny Uncle - A major

It would appear that Chris and Neil have a particular fondness for the keys of A minor, C minor, and C major.

"Documented" officially unreleased songs written by the Pet Shop Boys

The following titles have been mentioned in various places (most notably at the official PSB website and in their fanclub publication Literally, the two main sources of the information that follows) as songs the Chris and Neil have written but haven't yet completed and/or formally released. (I don't include songs written by others that the Boys have recorded in unreleased cover versions, such as "Homosexuality" and "So Long, Farewell.") If I've heard the song and am familiar enough with it to offer detailed commentary, a link is provided to its entry in the "Unreleased Tracks" section of this website. Otherwise, I offer just one or two lines of what little I know about it from what I've read.

• After the Event

  One of many songs so far unreleased that were written by the Pet Shop Boys during the incredibly creative streak they enjoyed in early and mid-2005, when they composed most of the songs for Fundamental. Neil has described it as "one of those songs we keep changing. It's sort of good and sort of not-good." Nothing else is known about it at this time.

• Baby

In the aftermath of "Love Life," Neil and Chris gave this additional song to the Swedish band Alcazar as well. One writer who has heard it describes it as "melancholy, dramatic, magnificent, and electronic"; the official PSB website adds that it's "very poppy." The Boys wrote it in 2003 and, seeing as how it takes the form of a "boy/girl duet," felt it was perfect for the mixed-gender Alcazar. Plans were afoot for Alcazar to record it for release in 2006, but in the wake of the band's breakup in April 2006 over "musical differences" it fell into limbo. But with Alcazar's subsequent reformation, reports are that a new 2008 album will include two PSB-penned tracks—quite possibly this one and "For Every Moment."

• Backburner

The name of this unreleased track strikes me as a "placeholder" (because this recording is, for the time being, on the "backburner," awaiting further development?) until Chris and Neil can come up with something permanent. In all likelihood it doesn't yet have lyrics.

• Beautiful Beast

A "quite funny" song (according to Neil) that hasn't yet been completed.

• Before My Time

Almost nothing is known about this track aside from the fact that Neil and Chris wrote it in April 1998 and that, in Neil's words, it "was meant to sound like Air" (a somewhat arty French synth duo). A supposed demo instrumental version has been floating around on the Internet for years, but from all indications that track is not by the Pet Shop Boys.

• Bounce

The Boys recorded this way back in 1987, around the same time as "Domino Dancing." It employed the clever/twee gimmick of having a percussion track in which the drum machine went through every sound in its library, one by one, in time with the music. Chris and Neil at one time seriously considered including it on Introspective; in fact, they seriously considered Bounce as the title of the album.

• Bubadubadubadum (aka "All My Wasted Time")
  
  
• Buggered If I Know

Little is known about this track except that it apparently stems from the Nightlife period and, according to Neil, "starts off with something like Elgar and was intended by Chris to sound like Divine."

• Can I Be the One?

This track eventually became "Love Life.

• China

The Boys wrote this in mid-April 2006. No other information is available at this time aside from the fact that, perhaps aptly inspired, they immediately afterward had a Chinese dinner with Gary Barlow.

• The Day Before Tomorrow

Written during the Fundamental sessions, this track underwent a good deal of evolution and a number of title changes (including "Introduction") before Neil and Chris eventually settled on "God Willing."

• Dead of Night

This has sometimes been cited as an unreleased Tennant-Lowe song, but it's probably not really "unreleased" at all. Rather, it's almost certainly an early "demo name" for what became "Jealousy" ("At dead of night, when strangers roam….").

• Diddly Squat

This song evolved into "All or Nothing."

• Dirty Tricks

Written while visiting Naples in early March 2005.

• Every Little Moment

An alternate title sometimes cited for a song probably more accurately titled "For Every Moment."

• Fat Northern Bastards

Chris proposed recording this humorous song with UK TV/radio/recording personalities Ant and Dec. A very brief excerpt can be heard on the About Pet Shop Boys double-disc set released to fan club members several years ago. Considering the title, however, I wouldn't be surprised if it's never officially released.

• For Every Moment

Originally written in 2003 and further developed in early 2005, this track exists in at least three different versions. Chris and Neil (in their own words "never happy with it") considered offering it to Alcazar before they split up, but it appears likely to resurface now that Alcazar has reformed, with a new album scheduled for 2008. The title has alternately been reported as "Every Little Moment."

• The Former Enfant Terrible

Written in late April 2006. The French title, meaning "terrible child," is commonly used to refer to a highly talented young person with a reputation for scandalously bad behavior.

• Franglais

This song was reportedly "written around the time [the Boys] were still trying to rip-off the group Air's sound."

• Get On It

  Recorded in April 1995 during the Bilingual sessions, but left unfinished. The Boys were considering it as a track for Ian Wright. "It's really good, that one," noted Chris.

• Hey Tito

Virtually no information has been released about this track aside from its simple yet cryptic title.

• Hope

Probably written solely by Chris, this was to have been another recording with Ian Wright, a follow-up to "Do the Right Thing." But it was never completed.

• How Lucky Am I?

  Reportedly from the Bilingual sessions.

• I Can Always Rely on You to Let Me Down

The Boys started work on this more than 15 years ago, but apparently they like it well enough (it's "a funny, catchy one") that they're still thinking about finishing it.

• I Need You

I'm not even 100% sure that this is the actual title, but a brief snippet of its demo played during a PSB radio documentary in the late 1990s. The only words were Neil singing "I need you—ah, ah, ah, ah." He described it as "very eighties-sounding," to which Chris rejoined, "I always liked that." He then added, "I don't think we're eighties enough!"

• In the Club or in the Queue

• It's Not a Crime

An early song that was on the demo tape that Neil gave to Bobby O when they first met in 1983. Little else is known about it, although of course the title phrase would crop up again in "Left to My Own Devices," making one wonder about other possible connections between the two songs. Could "Devices" have evolved—or at least borrowed some lyrics—from "It's Not a Crime"?

• It's Up to